Artie Nielsen Quotes
You don't have to miss out on a real life like I did.
Valda: Well improvised Agent Nelson.
Artie: There is a madness to the method.
Artie: It's a museum, anything there could be an artifact. You can't let him touch anything.
Myka: Artie it's Pete, it's a win when he doesn't lick anything.
Artie: Listen Bismarck, until you came in things were fine.
Fargo: That's Fargo.
Pete: Cranky is kind of your natural state of being isn't it?
Artie: What Pleeeease?!
Artie: Claudia, go easy we have all been through a lot
Claudia: Worst case of identity theft ever!
Artie: Ladies first.
Myka: What? Uh, yeah, age before beauty.
Pete: What? He's older than me. He's older than both of us put together.
Artie: All right, shut up. Hold that. Children. I'm working with children.
Artie: Hey, guys, the Phoenix and the Goblet of Severan, Mrs. Frederic says they've been taken from the warehouse. And she seemed shaken.
Pete: Mrs. Frederic? Seemed shaken?
Myka: That is so not comforting.
Artie: Look, we were following a lead.
Mrs. Frederic: You took a shot in the dark.
Artie: We hit the center of that target.
Mrs. Frederic: With a small-caliber bullet.
Artie: Pete's caliber is very large. We... you know what? I'm done with this analogy.
Artie: How long did you have before the warehouse was gonna explode?
Pete: Under a minute.
Claudia: More like thirty seconds.
Artie: That's lucky. I once got there with 17, and (Mrs. Frederic's) voice gets really annoying when she's counting down the seconds one at time.
Artie: So am I fired?
Mrs. Frederic: Worse. They want you to stay. Bering and Lattimer are not the best agents we've ever had. You are.
Artie: They said that?
Mrs. Frederic: It was said. And they were smart enough to believe me.
Artie: Oh. Thanks.
Mrs. Frederic: Simply the facts.
Theadora: Hi, there, welcome to Ted's. I'm Theadora, but everyone calls me "Ted." Party of one?
Artie: (about Mrs. Frederic) No, no, I'm meeting that woman right over there and it's rarely a party.