Are you gonna murder me and bury me at this gas station?

Tom: Ben, Leslie hired my company to get her that sticker. You're the one that told me businesses need "clients" to get "money."
Ben: I was the first one to tell you that?

Is she gonna powder her vagina?

Tom: It's almost too easy.
Ben: I can hear you.
Tom: I know you can Ben, that's how easy it is.

I would guess that they would be bankrupt by the end of this sentence.

I was completely flustered, I came off like an idiot. I mean, at one point, for no reason, I just took off my shoes and held them in my hand.

Leslie: Oh President Reagan, my blazer popped open.

Ben: Well, Maggy Thatcher, let me help you with that. Our countries have had a very special relationship.

Ben: Show me Pelosi again.

Leslie: Okay, lay down.

[To Leslie] Your Mom, kind of made a pass at me.

Leslie: When I first met you I thought you were a fascist hard ass.

Ben: What?

Ben: Should we talk about how you claimed your mom was a Filipino woman you've never met.

Leslie: Should we?

Ben: I think at some point you and I should probably make out with each other.

Leslie: Yeah, good call.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Leslie: Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?
Ron: People are idiots, Leslie.

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April