Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
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Leslie: Oh my god I'm so hungover. I've never been this hungover.
Ben: I feel great. I ran 5K this morning.
Leslie: Really?
Ben: No, I threw up in the shower.

I'm sorry are you eating Turkey Chili off of a frisbee?

Ben: You always separate your lights from your darks.
April: That's racist.

There's a 30% chance they'll die.

(referencing Lil Sebastian) I don't get it. At all. It's kind of a small horse, I mean what am I missing? Am I crazy?

"No Oren I don't know how I'm going to die. Wait, are you asking me or telling me?"

Ben: I'm just gonna sleep on the floor.
Ron: It's called the "ground" when it's outside.

Leslie: You're all amazing, wonderful people and I really want you to have fun today and not focus on the fact that if one thing goes wrong, we're all gonna lose our jobs.
Ben: That's not inspiring.

I move around a lot, so the friends I make in these cities, they're like Facebook friends, you know? "Hey, Doug from Bloomington is thinking about buying a shirt." Come on, Doug, who cares?

Tom: Watch the master work it, I am the Yoda of networking.
Ben: Well Yoda wouldn't actually need networking, his powers were more spiritual.
Tom: Shut up you nerd!

Look, who hasn't had gay thoughts? Who?

Leslie: Yes. I know exactly when we should do it. Post-pizza, pre-ice cream, between his third and fourth beer. He'll be full but not stuffed. Tipsy but not drunk. Should be around nine.
Ben: OK. So you've thought this through.

Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 85 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.