Ben Quotes
Ben: You're not dating me to kill Sam, are you?
Nina: No. Besides, I don't need a knife to kill Sam.
Ben: What's that mean?
Nina: I just use these guys. [holds up hands] I like to get up in there and feel the heart beating before I squish it with my hands.
Ben: You see, that doesn't make me feel better
Ben: So I went to the mall alone...
Sock: Sure.
Ben: ...to buy a couple of pairs of pants.
Sock: I'm sorry. You bought a couple of pairs of pants? Since when do you need more than one pair of pants? What are you, Jude Law?
Ben [about the lost souls]: They even drank all the Zimas
Sock: It's kinda a shame they have to go back to hell, I would love to party with these guys
Sock: She's so hot
Ben: Smoking
Sock: Shut your mouth, that is my sister and I have dibs
Ben: You're a marked man.
Sam: So, I get it. I understand if you guys can't hang out anymore.
Sock: I am sorry, Sam. But we are not here to listen to you whine about which dark army has marked you for death. Ok? We are here right now to honor the passing of the man who may or may not have been your biological father.
Ben: Well said, Sock.
Sock: Thank you. I recommend lighting the right foot and then running like hell
Sock: It's an unbelievable rush. I don't even know how to describe it. All I know is that one kiss from her and I felt better than I've ever felt in my entire life.
Ben: What does that even mean?
Sock: Okay, do you know how good you feel when you wear your bike pants?
Ben: Yeah.
Sock: Yeah, it's like that times twenty
Ben: Oh. I want a taste
Sam: At least they hooked you up with that weird suit.
Ben: Yeah it was a present from an attempted murderer I met.
Sock: That's an attempted murderer suit?
Ben: Yes.
Sock: Nice. Can I try on the jacket?
Ben: Hands off.
Sock: I let you try on my homeless guy pants. Come on.
Ben: Not the same
Josie: First off, you're a complete moron to even be in this situation.
Ben: No one disputes that I'm a moron.
Sock: I tried to stop him, baby.
Ben: No you didn't.
Sock: No I didn
Andi: What, you guys couldn't even wear one of your tuxedo t-shirts. I mean, I know each one of you have one.
Ben: Actually, there's just the one. We share.
Sock: It's a rotation
Ben: Naked photos in a family album, Sock?
Sock: Yeah, Ben, that's what loving couples do, okay? Josie and I have enough photos of each other's junk to fill a library. Plus, Johnny Immigration will be so shocked he'll have no choice but to believe you guys are together.
Sara: That makes some sense.
Sock: Yeah, that's why I said it
Greg: Dad was right. I make one boneheaded move after another. I failed my driving test 17 times.
Ben: Hey, everybody makes mistakes.
Greg: I sent money to six Nigerian princesses and I've never met one of them.
Sam: You're... you're trusting.
Greg: I made a pass at my stepmother!
Sam, Sock, Ben: Ewww
I'm not cut out to be a hit man. I saw my grandmother one time snap the neck of a chicken. I cried myself to sleep for a whole month
