Reaper

Ben Quotes (Page 3)

Andi: What, you guys couldn't even wear one of your tuxedo t-shirts. I mean, I know each one of you have one.
Ben: Actually, there's just the one. We share.
Sock: It's a rotation
 • Rating: Unrated

Ben: Naked photos in a family album, Sock?
Sock: Yeah, Ben, that's what loving couples do, okay? Josie and I have enough photos of each other's junk to fill a library. Plus, Johnny Immigration will be so shocked he'll have no choice but to believe you guys are together.
Sara: That makes some sense.
Sock: Yeah, that's why I said it
 • Rating: Unrated

Greg: Dad was right. I make one boneheaded move after another. I failed my driving test 17 times.
Ben: Hey, everybody makes mistakes.
Greg: I sent money to six Nigerian princesses and I've never met one of them.
Sam: You're... you're trusting.
Greg: I made a pass at my stepmother!
Sam, Sock, Ben: Ewww
 • Rating: Unrated

Ben: I'm not cut out to be a hit man. I saw my grandmother one time snap the neck of a chicken. I cried myself to sleep for a whole month
 • Rating: Unrated

Sock: Oh, you know what? I'm a little relieved that Sara's bun didn't come out of my oven, if you know what I'm talking about.
Ben: How could it possibly be yours?
Sock: Well, Ben, let's just say I had a very vivid dream and leave it at that, okay?
 • Rating: Unrated

Ben: Think about it, Sam. Women don't always tell you when you screw up. They like to give non verbal clues.
Sock: i.e., making out with another dude
 • Rating: Unrated

Ben: Was his face made up of human skin like in The Texas Chainsaw?
Andi: Ben, everybody's face is made of human skin.
Sock: That is so true
 • Rating: Unrated

Ben: Next time I'm marrying for money, I'll charge triple
 • Rating: Unrated

Sock [about Sam telling Andi about his duties]: How'd it go?
Sam: Where the Hell were you guys? I was dying over there. She didn't believe any of it.
Sock: Sorry. I had to wait for the chili cheese fries.
Ben: My wife called
 • Rating: Unrated

Sock: Did you hook up with Sara?
Ben: No, no. I... no! I just... got married.
Sock: What the Hell are you talking about?
Ben: She needed a green card and I felt sorry for her, okay? And look, it just happened all really quickly.
Sam: Yeah, so she's living here now?
Ben: Just for a little while, you know. Just to make it look real.
Sock: You are too stupid to exist!
Ben: Why? I like Sara. I think she's great. I think she'd make an excellent citizen, and she paid me 1,600 bucks.
Sock: You know, I take it all back, buddy. That is awesome. That is outstanding. She is beautiful! Beautiful! We got married!
 • Rating: Unrated

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