Bender: Bite my freshly-molted, blubber-filled ass.
Hermes: You're just a giant lump of fat. Do you even have an ass under there?
Bender: I'm 40% ass! Arf arf!

Fry: Is it weird if I talk about his crazy turtle penis?
Bender: No.

Fry: Congratulations, Bender. You've ended robot animal cruelty within a 20 yard radius of this building. You ready to call it a day, or do you have one more score to settle?
Bender: The second thing.

Bender: No robot cow should have to be milked by a milking machine! And no milking machine should have to milk a robot cow!
Leela: Those injustices don't even exist.
Bender: Then let's find some that do!

Huntmaster: They're not fox hounds, they're springer spaniels, you twit. Or rather, spring-powered spaniels.
Bender: Bot-on-bot violence? Where will it end?
Huntmaster: Not with the dogs.

Fox hunting is an ancient and noble pursuit that's fascinated me ever since I heard of it ten minutes ago!

Bender: Yo, Squidward Scissorhands. You got this in an adult robot medium?
Tailor: The fox-hunting uniform? You, sir, must be a robot of noble bearings.
Bender: Well, I am descended from Prince Albert's can.

Amy: They never made wise use of the land. When my ancestor Reginald Wong landed here, they had no bingo parlors and only one prostitute.
Bender: Pathetic!

Bender: Ooo, hefty. You could really bash in a skull with this thing.
Scruffy: I know, right?

My God, it's full of geezers.

It's not just safe it's 40% safe!

That is one crazy, uncircumcised man.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 603 in total

Futurama Quotes

Farnsworth: (on the phone) Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? To shreds, you say. Very well then. (hangs up) Sad, sad, terrible, gruesome news about my colleague, Dr. Mobutu.
Leela: Was his apartment rent-controlled?

Amy: Don't worry, Mom! You can always come live with me!
Inez Wong: No we can't! Who you think been paying your rent?
Amy: What's rent?

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