Bernadette: How come the three of you never got an apartment together?
Leonard: We talked about it, but Howard was in a pretty serious relationship with his mom.
Howard: I lived with her to save money.
Raj: You didn't have to buy groceries because you were breast feeding.

Yeah, we were totally fine half-assing our marriage till you showed up.

Penny: Ooh, that looks like fun.
Bernadette: Maybe you should master glue before you move on to fire.

Sheldon: To the planetarium!
Penny: Let's go!
Leonard: To the Tar Pits!
Bernadette: Let's go!
Amy: There's a Neil Diamond concert next month.
Howard: Let's go!

Howard: I feel so stupid. And fat.
Bernadette: That's okay. You still look great to me. In fact, why don't we go in the bedroom and I'll prove it to you?
Howard: Sex? Really? That's just your solution for everything.

Howard: You're full of estrogen and you don't act like that.
Bernadette: That's 'cause I'm a woman. I've had years of practice riding the dragon.

Bernadette: You know, one of the things that helped me get through Howard being in space for so long was getting married before he left.
Penny: Bernadette, sweetie, shut up.

Long story short. She's on the no-fly list and we might have been followed here by a drone.

Penny: Vegas here we come.
Bernadette: No husbands. No boyfriends. No rules
Amy: No rules. We're not going to get drunk and have a six-way with the Blue Man Group, are we?
Penny: No.
Amy: So there are some rules.
Bernadette: Okay. No husbands. No boyfriends. Some rules.
Amy: Thank you. VEGAS!

Howard: When this all blows over, remember that voice. It's kind of a turn-on.
Bernadette: It turns you on when I sound like Raj?

Howard: Son of a bitch, she's gone.
Bernadette: Where'd she go?
Howard: I don't know. She didn't leave a note.
Bernadette: You were the one who was supposed to put her back in the stroller!
Howard: No, I wasn't! You were!
Bernadette: No, I wasn't!
Howard: Yes, you were!
Bernadette: Well, you throw like a girl.

Howard: It's ridiculous that we still have to walk up all these stairs.
Bernadette: Yeah, try doing it in heels.
Howard: I am.

TBBT Quotes

Mrs. Cooper: Shelly! I'm so glad you're here!
Sheldon: I saw you having naked sex.

Penny: I give up, he's impossible
Sheldon: I can't be impossible, I exist. I believe what you meant to say is, "I give up, he's improbable."