Enzo: Relax, relax. I'm not here to cause mischief.
Bonnie: Says everyone who has ever caused mischief.

I know you, Damon. I spent four months with you, day in and day out. We went to hell and back, literally, and you're more scared now than I have ever seen you before. It's not about what happens if you don't give Elena the cure. You're scared about what happens if you do.

Kai: Damn. Crocodile Dundee called. He wants his knife back.
Bonnie: You know, he's no longer a thing and neither is that joke.

Kai: Don't you ever dream about time travel?
Bonnie: I would rather die of cholera than spend an afternoon with you.

Damon: You don't have to pretend, Bon. I'm like a fever you can't shake.
Bonnie: Yeah, yeah, like a disease.

Coming back to life is complicated. Trust me, I've done it before.

Damon: Kai? If you so much as hurt one hair on her annoying little witch head-
Bonnie: That was so sweet. Why'd you have to ruin it by calling me annoying?

Damon [to Bonnie]: Did you ever think for one second that it's you being negative reacting to my natural self negatively?
Bonnie: You're ridiculous.
Damon: No I'm consistent.

We have this dorm room all to ourselves for a whole weekend and you wanna talk logistics?

Bonnie: She would kill you.
Damon: Cool and then me and all her dopplegangers can start a baseball team on the other side.

He’s my best friends little brother, he’s still in high school, and I think I’m madly in love with him.

It even has a fire place. What dorm has a fire place?

Vampire Diaries Quotes

You want a love that consumes you. You want passion and adventure, and even a little danger... I want you to get everything you're looking for. But for right now, I want you to forget that this happened. Can't have people knowing I'm in town yet. Goodnight, Elena.

Damon

Damon: You know what they are? Children. Like lighting a candle's going to make everything OK, or even saying a prayer. Or pretending Elena's not going to end up just like the rest of us murdering vampires. Stupid, delusional, exasperating little children. And I know what you're going to say: 'It makes them feel better, Damon.' So what? For how long? A minute, a day? What difference does it make? Because in the end, when you lose somebody, every candle, every prayer is not going to make up for the fact that the only thing you have left is hole in your life where that somebody that you cared about used to be. And a rock with a birthday carved into it that I'm pretty sure is wrong. So thanks, friend. Thanks for leaving me here to babysit. Because I should be long gone by now. I didn't get the girl, remember? I'm just stuck here fighting my brother and taking care of the kids. You owe me big.
Alaric: I miss you too, buddy.