Well, Matt lives to hate vampires another day, Stefan's on Caroline duty, and I just introduced Mom to Uber. I'm taking bets on which one goes South first.

Damon

Do you know how many times I've died, or nearly died? Most of those times were at the hands of people I thought were my friends. I'm sorry, not people. Vampires.

Matt

Damon: You get a night, Stefan. A night to beat yourself up, do your shame spiral, and then you have to go after Caroline.
Stefan: I don't need a night. I'll find her.

[to Tyler] If Matt dies, are you going to start peeing on fire hydrants again?

Caroline

Damon: Eh, a hundred and fifty years is a long time to care.
Elena: Says the guy who pined for Katherine Pierce for a century and a half.

Lily: I took your advice and I've been dabbling on Stefan's computer. What a wondrous invention -- all that knowledge.
Damon: And videos of cats riding robot vacuum cleaners.

[to Elena] You're lucky you're adorable because your eternal optimism is super annoying.

Damon

Jo: I'm marrying an idiot. You could have died today.
Alaric: As opposed to any other day?

It must be so exhausting overthinking everything, denying your own urge to kill and just be done with them.

Stefan

Elena: [to Lily] You've been in here for over a century.
Damon: Yeah, I would've come by sooner but I thought you were safe and sound in the family crypt. My bad.

Lily: Damon?
Damon: Hello, mother.

Jo: I've thought about it and anyone named Alaric should not be allowed to name another human.
Alaric: I didn't name me!

Vampire Diaries Quotes

Elena: Damon!
Damon: I'm not gonna hurt him, Elena. I'm the good guy now, remember?
Elena: What does that mean?
Damon: I'm gonna have a civil conversation with your father.

You want a love that consumes you. You want passion and adventure, and even a little danger... I want you to get everything you're looking for. But for right now, I want you to forget that this happened. Can't have people knowing I'm in town yet. Goodnight, Elena.

Damon