Bones

Thursdays 8:00 PM on FOX
Bones
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Cam: Strange question, I know, but I've gotta ask. [pulls EPT test from behind her back] Are you, by any chance, pregnant?
Brennan: No, I haven't had sexual intercourse in quite some time.
Cam: Do you want to know why I'm asking?
Brennan: You're holding a home pregnancy test. I assume it's positive and you're worried about losing the most important person in this lab.
Cam: No. Very modest. I'm asking because Michelle was here earlier this afternoon and the only other two people who you use that bathroom, beside me, are you and Angela.
Brennan: Well, Angela is currently sexually active.
Cam: Very true.
Brennan: With Wendell!
Cam: Very, very active!
Brennan: And even if they use condoms, Wendell is young! His sperm is likely to be extremely motile.
Cam: You are so cheering me up right now.

Fisher: He was beaten and stabbed. Somebody really went after this guy.
Cam: Those injuries didn't kill him. There's grease in all levels of the bronchi, which means our victim was alive when he was tossed into the vat. Cause of death is drowning and cooking, or vice versa.
Fisher: Saturated fats; they're a killer.

I have a 16-year-old and believe me, when it comes to dating advice I am batting a red hot zero.

Sweets: [watches Cam walk into his office without knocking] No, no, no. You can't just walk in here!
Cam: Arastoo Vasiri, our Muslim intern, he's been faking his accent. At first I go where everyone else goes, you know? [singsong voice] Terrorist!
Sweets: Wouldn't a terrorist fake not having an accent?
Cam: Is it crazy or just weird? Weird I can deal with, but crazy? [shakes head and begins to leave the office]
Sweets: Wait. What do you want me to do?
Cam: Crazy's your department.

Michelle: I'm scared. Is that weird? I mean, it's just sex, right? It's all over the TV and everywhere.
Cam: Whoa, there's no such thing as 'just sex', Michelle. Every time you give a bit of yourself to the person you're with. So it's okay to wait as long as you want.
Michelle: I don't want to lose Perry.
Cam: If Perry doesn't understand how you feel, he doesn't deserve you.

Be sure about your feelings because if you crack that shell, and you change your mind she'll, die of loneliness before she'll trust anyone ever again.

Camille: The things that make you a great cop have nothing to do with the socks. What's really on your mind?
Booth: All right. Um, that uh, place that I went to, you know, in my coma dream.
Cam: Mhm.
Booth: It was just, Bones and I, it was so real.
Camille: You're in love with Dr. Brennan. (Booth stares at her, she smiles)
Booth: What I'm wondering is, am I the same guy?
Camille: Uhh ... sweet, kickass, FBI murder solver with hard fists and a lion heart?
Booth: Uh huh.
Camille: Yep, you're still him.

Cam: You and Brennan, you're gonna have a baby?
Booth: She told you?
Cam: She told everyone, it's probably on the news by now.
Booth: I'm just donating.
Cam: So, you decided?
Booth: No! No! I am deciding, i-n-g -ing.
Cam: I know you, Seeley. You're gonna do it. You wanna do it without really doing it, but it's still doing it even if you're not ... doing it the way it should be done.
Booth: She wants a kid, okay? It'll make her more personable with people.
Cam: And what will it do for you?
Booth: She'll get what she wanted.
Cam: A piece of you?

Hodgins: (after Brennan says she wants a baby) Is there a father?
Brennan: Well, I'd like to use Booth's sperm.
Cam: Booth. What do you know?

Arastoo: He mistrusts Muslims.
Cam: Go, grab a beer together, but I am saying no to this experiment.
Hodgins: Yeah, I got that during that part where you said "no" seven times in a row.
Cam: I find that you don't pay attention to the first six.

Cam: Michelle stopped loving me years ago.
Bones: But you never stopped loving her. She'll know that. The Mohawk Indians have a saying that when a child falls in the rapids, the one who rescues her will share in her new life forever. I assume that doesn't only apply to a potential drowning victim.

Cam: I want you to consider something. You need a place to live now.
Michelle: Yea um ... my dad has some kind of cousin in Chicago.
Cam: I ... would like you to come live with me.

Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 88 in total

Bones Quotes

Bones: My IQ is quantifiably higher than yours.
Booth: You know what, you're the brains of the outfit.
Bones: You have your strengths, Booth.
Booth: Well, I try
Bones: Trying is one of your strengths.

Booth: I worked really, really hard on my vows, but you know, now that we're here, look, um, hey. Do you remember the last time that we were here? Standing right around in this spot? It was right in the beginning before we really knew each other. I was trying to get away from you because you were irritating me and, uh, you chased me down, and you caught up to me and I said to you 'listen, I just have to get all my ducks in a row' and you said to me--
Brennan: I can be a duck.
Booth: Yeah. You know we had been chasing each other for a long time. Chasing each other through wars and serial killers and ghosts and snakes. And now chasing you has been the smartest thing that I have ever done in my life. And being chased by you has been my greatest joy. But now, we, uh, we don't have to chase each other anymore because we caught each other.

Bones Music

  Song Artist
Fearless Fearless Cyndi Lauper iTunes
The world is The World Is... Matthew Ryan iTunes
Song Rain Or Shine Matthew Perryman Jones