I told that woman I loved her, laid my heart out for her, and she chopped it up like we were at Benihanas!

• Permalink: I told that woman I loved her, laid my heart out for her, and sh...
• Added: May 07, 2012

The places that offer free limousine services are desperate for customers. I'm guessing they're all nude and half-dude.

• Permalink: The places that offer free limousine services are desperate for ...
• Added: April 30, 2012

Carl: Now if you want to get into your bride's head a little bit, just change "boobs" to "holy matrimony".
Mike: Wow, I had no idea it consumed their every though and dictated their every action.

• Permalink: Now if you want to get into your bride's head a little bit, just...
• Added: April 16, 2012

Mike: I'm the kind of guy that likes to think things through.
Carl: Since when? I once saw you eat a marshmallow that was still on fire.

• Permalink: I'm the kind of guy that likes to think things through. Sinc...
• Added: March 19, 2012