Charlotte "Chuck" Charles Quotes
Ned: "Maurice" and "Rolston"?
Chuck: You didn't even know their names?
Ned: I'm glad Dad got so fun and creative with naming after I left. "Goodbye, Ned. Hello, Mercutio and Ribald."
Chuck: Maurice and Rolston!
Chuck: Yeah, imagine if we'd dragged Ned here and found out that his dad's still an emotional disaster.
Olive: And it turns out he's older and crankier and drinks $6 bottles of sour mash. Oh, Ned would have a trump card of an I-told-you-so.
Chuck: I can't believe you didn't tell me you have brothers.
Ned: Half brothers.
Chuck: Two half brothers, which is like one whole one.
Olive: Here comes the center of the universe, pulling us all into her gravitational orbit of blame.
Chuck: Oh, well, FYI, um, there is no center of the universe because our universe is forever expanding.
Olive: Like your neediness. "Wah, respect my feelings. Wah, don't fence me in. Wah, don't treat me like I'm dead." Well, if you're so dead, how can you be needy? Oh right... you're selfish!
Olive: It's like we're trapped in a sachet in a panty drawer of a dead shut-in, who was shut in her bedroom by her cat so that it would have to smell the scene of Freesia. Can't you smell it?
Chuck: Yeah. That would be my Freesia hair detangler that you said smells amazing yesterday.
Olive: Wish I hadn't now.
Chuck: If Mother Superior found Larue's shiny stash...
Ned: Then all it would take was one push, and the convent would be back... in black.
Chuck: By-proxy high-five.
Emerson: Get, before I by-proxy vomit.
Chuck: There was a young man named Von Deenis...
Ned: Who they said had a very big...
Ned: Emerson needs me.
Chuck: Why? There's no dead body to wake up.
Emerson: Nice. Anyone not hear that.
Chuck: You didn't sleep well.
Ned: It was deep and perfect, like a nap in the backseat of a car after a day at the beach.
Chuck: What if he was made entirely out of bees and that's why she couldn't see his face, because he didn't even have one? What if there's a whole beefolk society who walk around shaped like people?
Ned: You're thinking about how you can train your bees to walk around in people shapes, aren't you?
Chuck: Yeah.
Chuck: Poor Kentucky. What a horrible way to die. Thousands of little stingers stinging you.
Olive: Like little stinging secrets that don't just sting you once. They keep stinging you until you're bloated and filled with pus. Who wanted a la mode?
They're not gonna kill me during business hours.
