Favorite Charlotte King Quotes
Do you mind? I'm trying to screw my husband.
If you want to keep those hands, keep them off my uterus.
Do you know how many times I've peed since we've been here? Five. Five times. God, I'd sell my soul for a good 'ol UTI I could bitch slap into submission with some simple antibiotics.
Charlotte: Damn, Sheldon. You look like James Bond.
Sheldon: Which one? I was always partial to Sean Connery.
Mark: Plastics.
Charlotte: Sexology.
Mark: Sexology? God, I love L.A.
Cooper: Look, I know you're upset about me living with Violet. I know you feel excluded, but it doesn't have to be like that. You could be part of it.
Charlotte: Part of it, Cooper? Really? What exactly do you think that would look like? Me living with the two of you, reading Mother Goose to Violet's swollen belly while you're giving her pregnancy massages? Or how about me putting on my Bo Peep outfit, trying to seduce you while she's calling out from the next room for a puke bucket? Or, better yet, me taking video of you and Violet bringing your little snot home?
Cooper: It's not my little snot and I'm not trying to be the father.
Cooper: If you got to know Violet a little better ...
Charlotte: I'd rather have teeth pulled.
Cooper: She's my best friend, Charlotte. If she were a guy, wouldn't you make an effort to get to know my best friend?
Charlotte: If she were a guy, she'd be on Twenty Twenty for getting pregnant.
Charlotte: I get what you're doing for Violet.
Cooper: Please tell me you're not changing your mind.
Charlotte: I get that she's your best friend, but there comes a point when you can't have a woman be your best friend because there's a more important woman in your life. Or should be. But you and Violet, it's intimate. And she needs you. And, I think, at the end of the day, you need her. I'm outside of it. It's your thing. Your thing with Violet. And you want me to be a part of it, but I don't have it in me to make it work that way. I'm supposed to be your best friend, Cooper.
Cooper: I'm sorry I said no about the marriage, but I did tell you I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. Can you tell me what I did wrong that's so unforgivable?
Charlotte: If you really don't get it, I can't help you.
Cooper: Well, we have to talk about this.
Charlotte: No. We don't. And we won't. So save the rest of your earnest little I can make it all better act and leave, okay?
Charlotte: I screwed up, Coop. And I want to make it right. So, I was thinking, you wanted me to move in a few months ago, maybe now it's the right thing to do. A good first step. What's the matter? You going somewhere?
Cooper: I'm moving in with Violet.
Charlotte: I want to marry you, tomorrow. In Vegas.
Cooper: Tomorrow? My mother-
Charlotte: Families complicate things. Family's messy. Let's do this. Marry me Cooper Freedman.
Charlotte: Momma's taken to her room with the vapors and none of them wants to make a decision about Big Daddy.
Cooper: The vapors? You have a medical degree from John Hopkins. You've diagnosed your mother with the vapors?
