Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Alex, honey, when you're out shopping, you might want to pick yourself up a training bra. I know you don't need one now but your little boobies are going to come in soon. Mommy loves you, kitten!

Sweetheart I would love to be wrong, but I don't live with the right people for that.

Phil: My wife is always so tired and she's always making lists of things for me to do.
Claire: Maybe if you did them she wouldn't be so tired.
Phil: Oh no, she could make lists for days.

Mitchell: You had your own moments. You had cheerleading, and high school plays, and making out with the quarterback...
Claire: Oh come on, you made out with him, too.
Mitchell: Yeah, but we had to keep it a secret.

Gloria: I'm pregnant.
Claire: You're gonna get so fat!

Claire: I got pregnant with Haley.
Phil: My bad!

Haley: Did my 3rd grade teacher say I have ADD or something.
Claire: No honey she said you couldn't A-D-D because she also knew you couldn't S-P-E-L-L.

Claire: Oh thank God, here comes Phil and the butterball.
Manny: Hey, I have a name!!

You know how growing up we all have that voice inside our head that tells us we're not good enough? Well, mine was outside my head driving me to school

I just wanted to spend my night with some fun gay people. It's not my fault this one decided to be straight!

I have 3 kids, I've been tired since 2005.

Phil: Kids, get down here!
Haley: Why are you guys yelling at us? We were way upstairs, just text me.
Claire: Alright, that's not going to happen and...wow, you're not wearing that outfit.
Haley: What's wrong with it?
Claire [to Phil]: Honey, do you have anything to say to your daughter about her skirt?
Phil: Sorry. Oh yeah, it looks really cute sweetheart.
Haley: Thanks.
Claire [to Haley]: No, it's way too short. People know you're a girl; you don't need to prove it to them

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 160 in total

Modern Family Quotes

I'll admit it. I'm turned on by powerful women.
Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice, Serena Williams… Wait a minute.

Phil Dunphy

Just so you know sometimes when babies come this early, they're black.

Sal
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