Archer
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXFavorite Cyril Figgis Quotes
Cyril: I was jacking it on the telephone.
Archer: Does Internet porn know you were cheating on it?
Cyril: How do you not know the different kinds of porn?
Archer: Because I have sex with actual women, Cyril! My girlfriend's not equal parts the internet, a tube of Kentucky jelly, self-loathing and a sock!
Officer: The First Lady and I are having an affair.
Cyril: Damn, dog! That was my B.
Cyril: If you finish that sentence, I'm going to rub cocaine in your eyes till you are blind.
Ray: Goddamn, Shawshank!
It's like a vagina with a zipper.
Cyril: I only have two eyes and they were looking for hunters.
Lana: Why, is it pumpkin season?
Cyril: Is that a thing?
Archer: Whatever happened to "Team Archer?"
Cyril: Please tell me that was never a real thing to you
Cyril: Only if you promise to periodically micromanage it and emasculate me.
Malory: Cyril. I would have thought that goes without saying.
Mallory: You do realize this is a CIA agency?
Cyril: Ostensibly.
Malory: Especially Sterling. If he found out i might have breast cancer, he'd be devastated. This information cannot leave this... Pam what the hell?
Pam: What? Nothing.
Malory: You're texting about my...
Pam: I'm not I swear, this is about...
Cheryl: Breast caner! Oh, you poor thing.
Malory: Pam!
Pam: what?
Malory: What is wrong with you?
Pam: I can't help it. It's like a disease.
Malory: Pam!
Pam: Do you not know what disease means? Oh sorry I forgot you might have...
Cyril: Breast cancer!
Cyril: Kriegers father's was a Nazi scientist.
Malory: And JFK's father was a bootlegger.
Cyril: What!? That's like comparing apples to Nazi oranges.
Cheryl: What the stupid shit are you doing??
Cyril: You said you wanted watermelon.
Cheryl: Watermelon's red?
Cyril: Yes. How do you not know that?
Cheryl: Who am I? Charles Frederick Andress?
