Infeld: Would you care to join me in getting absolutely squiffed?
Damien: I'm all in.

What is this, your video for the Chive cheesiest lawyer of the year?

Crack staff you have there on Deep Space 9.

Damien: I'm a lawyer. I'm a very successful lawyer. Why can't you see me that way?
Infeld: I powdered your bottom.

I'm ticked. I'm not peeved. I know the Mary Poppins accent makes you seem smart but I can't believe anyone's still buying it.

Damien: If you accepted a job with these two street minstrels you must have gotten your degree at a mall kiosk.
Jared: She did. A little kiosk called Stanford.

Want to lose yourself in some misery sex?

Damien: Celia Moreno is now the new county Superior.
Rachel: The butch, one armed, Hispanic women? They just decided to check all the boxes.

Why did you bone me with the judicial committee?

Damien: I was feeling...
Infeld: What? Full of crap.
Damien: I was going to say invincible.

The bottom line rarely helps the people on the bottom.

Damien: Wow you look stressed.
Jared: You don't. What's up?

Franklin & Bash Quotes

See that's a talent, sounding like a total asshole even when you're supposedly saying something sincere.

Franklin

"Sorry, sorry. Jean Claude Van Damme marathon last night. Unavoidable.

Franklin