Popular Dan Humphrey Quotes
Dan: Number nine. Inside by Daniel Humphrey. What did Lincoln Hawk's first single debut at?
Rufus: Eight.
Serena: So Mr. Screenwriter, are you ready for your first development meeting?
Dan: I think so. As long as you guys don't want to change the ending. Or the beginning. Or all the stuff in the middle.
Jane: We'd love if you could open up the world of the Upper East Side a little bit more.
Natalie: Rich people are so hard to like. Maybe you could add someone more relatable.
Dan: I thought I did that already.
Serena: I think Dan is referring to his main character, Dylan Hunter. He'll appeal to everyone. He starts off as an innocent from Brooklyn.
Jane: Who quotes Hawthorne and screens Fellini films? I don't think so.
Dan: Whatever Jane sent you here to say, why don't you just say it.
Serena: Well we both think that you should waive your right to write the script.
Dan: Why would I do that?
Serena: Because if you write it your project will be stuck in development hell.
Dan: But how can I guarantee that she's not just going to screw it up?
Serena: Because I won't let her. She may not know this world, but I do. And I will protect your story and you.
Gossip Girl: Careful, S.
Dan: I have your word?
Serena: You have my word.
Gossip Girl: Everybody knows the road to hell is paved with good intentions. And shady bosses.
Jane: Did you already tell him we got Sorkin to write movie?
Dan: What? No. That's incredible.
Jane: I know. Now your character will talk even faster than you do.
Dan: I was hoping we could talk more about the movie.
Jane: What movie. It's dead. If you want to know why, talk to your friend Serena.
Rufus: That's it. I stayed quiet while you crashed bridal showers and skipped out of book tours. I was hoping with enough time and support you'd realize that even though your book didn't do as well as you'd hoped, you still had your whole future ahead of you. Being a shut-in is not bouncing back.
Dan: I was defending my honor.
Alessandra: If it makes you feel better, there's a Twitter called HumphreyLove too.
Dan: That's me.
Alessandra: Sorry. I should have recognized your scalpel-sharp self-deprecation.
Dan: I have over a thousand followers.
Alessandra: Let's hope they bought books.
Rufus: People who still go to book stores are real readers. They don't care if a book's on some best-whatever list.
Dan: Yeah, it seems that way. Turn out's been great.
It was one thing to feel like my book wasn't exactly appreciated in the Upper East Side—I expected that—but then the readings on the tour, they were less and less full. In Hartford I think like ten people showed up, and half of them were there to get out of the rain. My book is a failure, Dad. I'm a failure.
Charlie: It's way too generous. Especially after everything I put you guys through with Max.
Lily: Oh please. That was not your fault. That young man had a lot of problems.
Dan: Hm. No wonder Serena was so into him.
