Popular Dan Humphrey Quotes
Alessandra: They're coming tonight, right?
Dan: To the book party? No. I haven't exactly mentioned it to them yet. But I'd have to tell them the book exists first.
Alessandra: They don't know? Not any of them?
Dan: No. I'm not sure they're going to like it when they find out.
Alessandra: If they're really your friends they'll be happy to see your star rise. And they should be at the soirée tonight. When everybody learns that Anonymous is actually Daniel Humphrey.
I'm going to need six copies of this book. They should probably be hand-delivered.
Dan: Hey, everyone. Thank you so much for coming.
Serena: I only have five minutes.
Blair: This better be really important.
Nate: What is this all about?
Lily: Is everything all right?
Charlie: This isn't about me, right?
Rufus: Yeah. What's going on, Dan?
Chuck: This is going to be fun.
Dan: I'm sorry to call everyone here on such short notice, but... Alright, you know how there's been all this speculation about the book that's being published by an anonymous author.
Nate: Yeah. Gossip Girl said it was about us.
Blair: Yeah, it was probably written by some loser who doesn't even know us.
Dan: Well not exactly. I am that loser. I wrote it. And it is based on you. All of you. Sort of.
Nate: What's so funny?
Lily: I think you should ask Dan.
Dan: Well I might have made your character a little...
Chuck: Gay.
Dan: I hope that's okay. {to Chuck}. Stop enjoying this so much.
Chuck: You wanted me to feel something. That's a feeling.
Nate: Do I have game?
Chuck: Oh definitely.
Nate: Huh. I'm cool with that.
Dan: I want to make it clear: this book is a work of fiction. And after you read it I hope you'll feel good enough about it—and me—that, uh, you'll come to this book party tonight. The publisher is announcing that I'm the author, so...
Nate: Yeah. Of course we'll be there.
Dan: Well read it first. And then decide, because, you know, I didn't have the chance to make changes and there were some instances where it's not exactly how I would have wanted it.
Rufus: Well an artist never feels his work is perfect. It's good to always strive for more. I am so proud of you, son.
Blair: So. now that this unnecessary meeting about America's future doorstop is adjourned, do you want to go grab a cup of decaf?
Serena: I would love to, B, but I'm already late for work. I've gotta get back.
Blair: Well maybe after work then.
Serena: If this is about the book, don't worry. Everyone loves a villain.
Dan: I wouldn't say there's a villain, per se.
Blair: Well I can tell you who isn't.
Serena: Come on, every girl needs to be knocked off her pedestal a little. Can't handle that kind of pressure. I'll see you later.
Dan: Um, you know that story I wrote that Louis killed.
Blair: It's in the book. Yeah, I figured. But if it's all the same to you, I think I'd like to stay in the dark about just how nastily you've portrayed me.
Dan: Yeah, that's a good idea. You know, we're just recently friends again. Why ruin a good thing.
Blair: Yep. And, ah, I'm sorry in advance, but I have a better offer than your party tonight. Louis and I are telling our families the news.
Dan: Good luck.
Blair: You too. Your novel seems to be very well-punctuated and I... like the font.
Dan: Thanks for letting me hang here, man.
Chuck: I enjoy watching you squirm. Scotch?
Dan: It's like two pm.
Chuck: Valium then?
Dan: Why aren't you mad at me? Your character dies. Accidentally, but it's not a happy ending.
Chuck: On the contrary. Although clearly fiction. I'd never use a belt. I'd use a chartreuse scarf. Much softer.
Chuck: Success comes at a price. The artist must stand alone to observe the crowd, right?
Dan: That's funny. Vanessa said the same thing.
Serena: Is this what you've been trying to tell me all day?
Blair: No, because it never happened. {to Louis} It never happened!
Louis: I don't believe a word you say! You said yourself that Dan has no imagination.
Dan: Okay, thanks. But Louis, it didn't happen.
