Dan Humphrey Quotes
Rufus: Well for what it's worth, when Lily and I started hanging out again, neither of us wanted anyone else to know. But friendship can be an excuseâ€”a cover when there's something more you don't want to admit, or you're too scared to explore.
Dan: No... no. No. I mean, there's no way. I mean even the thought of that isâ€”
Dan: No, I mean we're not even friends. I swear... we're not.
Dan: You ever hung out with someone but not been able to tell anyone?
Rufus: You mean, ah, hang out, hang out or, you know... "hang out" hang out?
Dan: Oh god, this was a bad idea.
Rufus: What? That was vague.
Rufus: So why did you want to grab coffee with your old man?
Dan: Do I need a reason?
Rufus: No, but you have one.
Dan: I, ah, I need your advice. But I gotta keep the details vague.
Rufus: Please, the vaguer the better. It keeps parenting a challenge.
Blair: Okay. I arrive first, survey the location in case there's anyone I know, and scout out an exit strategy. You arrive at least fifteen minutes later. Plausible deniability. We just ran into each other.
Dan: You're really big on plausible deniability. Has anyone ever told you that?
Blair: I can't believe I let you talk me in to the Joseph Beuys exhibit after all.
Dan: There's a great article in here. You should read it.
Blair: We should go over field trip procedures again.
Dan: Oh joy.
Blair: I thought that if I could be the Blair Waldorf that I want to be a little sooner, that maybe I could return to Chuck before he fell for someone else.
Dan: Well you do know Reina broke up with him.
Blair: Yes. In my head. But in my heart I feel further away than ever. Tonight he's thinking about a different girl. And meanwhile, I lost my job, I failed a test... I almost got my best friend's mother arrested. And I'm in Brooklyn. Talking about it to Dan Humphrey.
Dan: Ah, well. I'm about to order some pizza if you want to stay.
Blair: Your "friends as fashion" metaphor was well-executed, but did not save my job.
Dan: You got fired.
Blair: Slash quit. Donna said they'd been watching me for awhile, hoping for the best, but let's face it I'm imploding.
Dan: What are you doing here? This is Serena's brother's birthday party. It's not okay for you to just show up here.
Vanessa: All I want to do is apologize for the part I played in what happened to her. I had no idea that that was Juliet's plan. And you know me, Dan. I would never be okay with things going that far.
Dan: Yeah, that's what my sister said before she did the right thing and came clean. You, on the other hand, pointed the finger at her and left town.
Dan: I know you only admitted you needed me so you could make me your drug mule.
Blair: That sticky note was meant for Penelope. Frankly with her attitude she could use some time behind bars.
Dan: So that's it? There's no "I'm sorry I could have gotten you arrested."?
Blair: Well, you're here. The party's lovely. Everything obviously turned out fine.
Serena: Except that you sent Dan to get the wrong flowers. The tulips with the coke were pink.
Blair: And I wrote that down. This one's on you, Humphrey.
Dan: You wrote purple. Classic Stroop Effect.
Blair: Where you write or say a color that you see instead of the one you mean. You're not the only one who knows his neurodysfunction.
Dan: Tell her that I got all of her texts and her handwritten letters and I will be in touch when I'm ready.
Ben: He saysâ€” Do I really have to say that? Shouldn't you just talk to her yourself?
Dan: No no no. Giving her the message myself will defeat the entire purpose of message.
Dan: Now what's so urgent?
Blair: I wanted to tell you... that you were right... about that thing.
Dan: And now which thing was that?
Blair: I, Blair Waldorf, need Dan Humphrey's help.
Dan: "As a friend and peer, not as an underling."
Blair: As my friend and peer not my underling.
Serena: Blair, we need your help with a scheme.
Dan: She can't.
Blair: Ahâ€” I can! New paragraph. "The Nude Maja began Goya's separation from religious iconographyâ€”"
Serena: What are you doing here?
Dan: I'm leaving. This just went from Woman on the Verge to Saw II. I don't really like gore porn really.