Dan Humphrey Quotes
Dan: I mean, it was just once. And it was weird.
Eric: Oh I would expect so. Yes.
Dan: But weird, good? Like "Wow, that's weird this is such a god kiss." Or weird bad, like, you know, just "Wow. Weird."
Eric: I would... She didn't give you any indication at the time?
Dan: No. No. She just walked away—stunned, left me standing there in the foyer.
Eric: Mysterious.
Dan: I know, right? I mean, I did what I thought was the polite thing. Called her the next day, It's been almost a week and I haven't heard back.
Eric: Wait. Wait, why do you care so much? Do you...do you like her?
Dan: What? No no no. I don't like her. No, of course not. Not at all. I'm just curious. And you, I mean, she does... she does smell nice.
Eric: Oh, you are ass backwards crushing on Blair Waldorf!
Dan: You swear not to tell anyone? Or laugh?
Eric: Ah, I'll take your secret to my grave, but laughter is an uncontrollable bodily response.
Dan: I kissed Blair Waldorf.
Eric: Wow I didn't see that coming.
Eric: Thank you for letting me hide out here. I just needed a time out from my mom and my grandma and my dad and... your dad.
Dan: Oh yeah. I mean, of course. My house is your safe house.
Eric: I'm surprised Serena didn't call you and ask you to be her back-up.
Dan: She did. But I figured I'd dodge that war. Hey, does William Carlos Williams go under W or C?
Eric: Hm. This is the first time I've ever seen you pass up a chance to save Serena. And you're alphabetizing. What's up?
Dan: Just one kiss. And then we can know without a doubt.
Blair: I suppose that would work. One kiss. That's that.
Dan: One kiss and that's that. So?
Blair: So. Oh for crying out loud, Humphrey!
Gossip Girl: XOXO —Gossip Girl
Dan: I've been walking around the city all night with one all-consuming, paralyzing thought.
Blair: "Why am I walking around the city when I live in Brooklyn."?
Dan: What if my dad and Dorota were right, what if there's another reason we're keeping us a secret?
Blair: Another reason like what?
Dan: Plausible deniability? Blair, we kept us a secret because we were afraid there was something more.
Blair: The world just wasn't ready for a Humphrey-Waldorf friendship. It's been nice not being friends with you.
Dan: Let's not do it again some time.
Dan: Serena, Eric, Lily, they're gonna need us now more than ever.
Blair: And not "us." Dan and Blair. Individual entities. Two nouns separated by a conjunction.
Dan: Or a comma, if mentioned in a list.
Blair: Which is rare. Since we have nothing in common and are in fact, opposites.
Dan: The kind of opposites who do not attract.
Blair: Most definitely not.
Dan: No.
Dan: So we tell everyone tonight. Agreed?
Blair: Agreed. Oh, and only I get to joke about the hotel. Still too soon.
Blair: That way everyone will assume that some earth-shattering scandal is imminent, like...
Dan: You getting traded for a hotel.
Blair: Or you. Raising Georgina's baby by a Russian mobster.
Blair: God, I knew you'd be my social death, Humphrey. I just knew it.
Dan: No, you know what? It's going to be fine. We can make it fine. All we have to do is tell everyone we've been hanging out. It's not going to be a big deal unless we keep making it a big deal.
Blair: Which it totally isn't.
Dan: Did you come all the way to Brooklyn just to yell at me? 'Cause that's really not necessary.
Blair: Yes it is.
Blair: Excuse me. Why aren't you at MOMA meeting me?
Dan: I decided to grab lunch with my dad instead. Why aren't you at MOMA meeting me?
Blair: I'm standing you up.
Dan: Ah. Well apparently great minds think alike.
Blair: But I had good reason.
Dan: And I would love to hear that reason, but my dad is gonna be out any second. And I haven't scouted an exit strategy for you, so...
