Dan Humphrey Quotes
Dan: When was the last time you slept?
Blair: Sleep is for the weak.
Dan: Sure you're not ready to admit you need my help?
Blair: Never! No, never isn't what he transitioned Spain into, it's Modernism and don't get caught talking during a test!
Blair: Tell me, for someone who's so determined to remain a free person, why are you still here?
Dan: Listen, I'm not going to work for you. But as a friend I am willing to help out. All you have to do is admit you need me.
Blair: What? Never. The last person I need is Dan Humphrey. Who shouldn't flatter himself by thinking he's my friend. [on phone] Yes, I need immediate delivery of four venti lattes with extra shots — none of which are for you.
Dan: Oh good. I don't really like refreshments with my theatre.
Blair: This job offer won't last forever.
Dan: No way am I going to work for you. I came here to see if you wanted to have lunch, not sign up for indentured servitude.
Serena: Sorry if we kept you up last night. We were playing Scrabble.
Ben: She fell asleep to avoid losing.
Dan: Since when do you enjoy Scrabble?
Blair: My point is, paranoia can save your life.
Dan: Oh, so she was supposed to know her husband was going to sell their firstborn to a coven?
Blair: The woman couldn't be more naive. I mean who eats unsolicited desserts.
Dan: Point taken. The mousse was creepy. Do you know how many gloves I've lost on the subway?
Blair: Well. You do often seem cursed.
Dan: I do, don't I?
Blair: Just seeking refuge with the perfect anti-Valentine's Day movie. Rosemary's Baby.
Dan: What part are you at? I'll watch it with you. Forgive me if I've memorized some of Ruth Gordon's dialogue. Okay, all of it.
Blair: It just started.
Dan: Well this way I can initiate a whole new round of pestering you to submit it.
Blair: But I already did. Yesterday. I gave your article to a junior editor. At Vanity Fair, not Details. I'm assuming that won't be a problem.
Dan: Wait, so you submitted it without reading it?
Blair: Of course I read it. I have a reputation to uphold.
Dan: And you still put me through the ringer?
Blair: It was good.
Dan: I'm sorry. What'd you just say?
Blair: You heard me. It was sharp. And well-observed. When it comes to experiencing an ex with a new love, you have some insight.
Gossip Girl: Rubies are red, hydrangeas are blue. Chuck' given his heart away—
Dan: Wow, he's good.
Gossip Girl: But guess what, Blair? Not to you.
Blair: Shut up Humphrey.
Blair: I'm looking for Chuck. What is this place?
Dan: Ah. He built it for Raina.
Blair: Oh. He's pretty serious about that game.
Dan: I don't... I don't really think it's a game.
Blair: Humphrey. What are you doing here?
Dan: Stalking you, actually.
Eric: Who do you want to spend Valentine's Day with?
Dan: Blair. No, it's not... no no no, It's not like that. I need her help with something.
Eric: You could be waiting a long time.
