Charlie: No no. Don't let Sarah Palin ruin it for you. Alaska is amazing.
Dan: I don't know. But between Into the Wild and that Werner Herzog movie with the grizzly, I don't think it's for me.

Blair: You clear on the plan?
Dan: Yeah, I think I'll be fine once I figure out what a butler's pantry is.
Blair: You're a cater waiter. You know exactly what a butler's pantry is.

Blair: We are going to stage a private, intimate moment for Louis to stumble upon. And when he realizes he has nothing to worry about, he'll go back to Paris leaving Louis behind. For me.
Dan: No way.
Blair: I thought you were my friend.
Dan: I am. Which is why I'm going to point out to you what a bad idea this is. For starters, Serena's going to be at this party.
Blair: She's staying with Lily tonight.
Dan: Fine. Then everyone else in the world will be at this party. We'd have to tell Serena.
Blair: Absolutely not. You and I faking a kiss? Do you really want to have that conversation with Serena?
Dan: It can't be half as painful as this one.

Dan: Blair, I swear I had no idea. Some magazine editor called me out of the blue to hire me to write an article on your prince, and I swear I backed out the minute I knew he was with you.
Blair: Oh you should have been suspicious the minute someone wanted to pay you for your writing. That wasn't an editor, it was one of Louis' royal handlers. And your desperate need for literary validation cost me the greatest date of my life.

Blair: Meet me at Paul Smith's in half-an-hour. You know why and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Dan: How did you find out?
Blair: I always find out. Just be there.

Vanessa: So all my heartfelt attempts to save our friendship had no impact, but the aroma of cheese and dough turned you instantly sentimental?
Dan: They do say that sense of smell is most associated with memory.

Dan: What are you doing here, deep in NYU territory? If you've developed a passion for Ukrainian food then I think we did spend too much time together.
Blair: Actually. I'm on a date. You can handle that, right?
Dan: We're just friends. Date away.

Rufus: Speaking of fights, where do things stand with you and Vanessa? Have you guys talked?
Dan: Yes. Only to reiterate the fact that we have nothing to talk about.
Rufus: You know I was angry with Vanessa too. But you guys have been friends your whole lives. That's not something you give up without some thought.

Rufus: Thanks for the movies. You want to come over later and join us for some screenings?
Dan: Um... you know what, I might have a thing.
Rufus: A thing? That's intriguingly vague. Another development in the complicated non-friends hang out situation?
Dan: No, that situation has figured itself out. It's official. We're, ah, we're just friends.

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