Gossip Girl

Dan Humphrey Quotes (Page 15)

Dan: So get this, I got a call that I'm being included in the modern royalty book.
Eric: Hm. No offense, but why?
Dan: Oh, none taken. 'Cause that was my first thought also. I guess there's some coup d'etat section for up-and-comers.
Eric: Oh yeah, that sounds totally made up.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Chuck: Did you notice her talking to anyone? Whoever she kissed seems to have had an effect. "Life-changing" were the words she used.
Dan: Well a life-changing kiss might not be something you want to mess with.
Chuck: What are you trying to say, Humphrey?
Dan: With you, she was always caught up in schemes and takedowns. But that's not really her. She's intelligent, she's intuitive. You know? She weeps when she watches Nights of Cabiria.
Chuck: How do you know that?
Dan: Uh... Serena told me. But listen, if Blair's happy, I mean maybe you should let her be.
Chuck: You care more about Blair's happiness than I knew.
Dan: Eh.
Chuck: Thank you for your time.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dan: Hey Chuck. Uh, what are you doing here?
Chuck: May I come in?
Dan: Yeah.
Chuck: I've learned some information about my past that's making me reconsider my future. My future with Blair. However my intel indicates that she's seeing someone else.
Dan: What's that got to do with me?
 • Rating: Unrated

Dan: I mean, it was just once. And it was weird.
Eric: Oh I would expect so. Yes.
Dan: But weird, good? Like "Wow, that's weird this is such a god kiss." Or weird bad, like, you know, just "Wow. Weird."
Eric: I would... She didn't give you any indication at the time?
Dan: No. No. She just walked away—stunned, left me standing there in the foyer.
Eric: Mysterious.
Dan: I know, right? I mean, I did what I thought was the polite thing. Called her the next day, It's been almost a week and I haven't heard back.
Eric: Wait. Wait, why do you care so much? Do you...do you like her?
Dan: What? No no no. I don't like her. No, of course not. Not at all. I'm just curious. And you, I mean, she does... she does smell nice.
Eric: Oh, you are ass backwards crushing on Blair Waldorf!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dan: You swear not to tell anyone? Or laugh?
Eric: Ah, I'll take your secret to my grave, but laughter is an uncontrollable bodily response.
Dan: I kissed Blair Waldorf.
Eric: Wow I didn't see that coming.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Eric: Thank you for letting me hide out here. I just needed a time out from my mom and my grandma and my dad and... your dad.
Dan: Oh yeah. I mean, of course. My house is your safe house.
Eric: I'm surprised Serena didn't call you and ask you to be her back-up.
Dan: She did. But I figured I'd dodge that war. Hey, does William Carlos Williams go under W or C?
Eric: Hm. This is the first time I've ever seen you pass up a chance to save Serena. And you're alphabetizing. What's up?
 • Rating: Unrated

Dan: Just one kiss. And then we can know without a doubt.
Blair: I suppose that would work. One kiss. That's that.
Dan: One kiss and that's that. So?
Blair: So. Oh for crying out loud, Humphrey!
Gossip Girl: XOXO —Gossip Girl
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Dan: I've been walking around the city all night with one all-consuming, paralyzing thought.
Blair: "Why am I walking around the city when I live in Brooklyn."?
Dan: What if my dad and Dorota were right, what if there's another reason we're keeping us a secret?
Blair: Another reason like what?
Dan: Plausible deniability? Blair, we kept us a secret because we were afraid there was something more.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Blair: The world just wasn't ready for a Humphrey-Waldorf friendship. It's been nice not being friends with you.
Dan: Let's not do it again some time.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Dan: Serena, Eric, Lily, they're gonna need us now more than ever.
Blair: And not "us." Dan and Blair. Individual entities. Two nouns separated by a conjunction.
Dan: Or a comma, if mentioned in a list.
Blair: Which is rare. Since we have nothing in common and are in fact, opposites.
Dan: The kind of opposites who do not attract.
Blair: Most definitely not.
Dan: No.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

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