Dan Humphrey Quotes
Serena: Wait.
Dan: What? What? Did I do something wrong?
Serena: No.
Dan: I knew the hair thing was too much.
Serena: No, actually, um...
Dan: Um? Um is never good. What?
Serena: (voice breaking) I, I'm scared.
Dan: Of me?
Serena: No! Well, yes. But, it's just...I've never...
Dan: You've never? You're not a...
Serena: No. No, I wish. It's just...nobody's ever looked at the way you just did. In fact, I don't think they looked at me at all. (covers her face with her hand) You think I'm crazy, don't you?
Dan: No. No, I don't.
Serena: Are you mad?
Dan: (smiles) Come here.
Dan: A ball?
Rufus: Haven't you heard? You're sister's Cinderella.
Dan: And let me guess. You're wicked step-sister is Blair Waldorf.
Dan: Serena, hey.
Serena: What are you really doing here, Dan?
Dan: What am I doing here? I ran across the city, I rent a tuxedo, I stole this mask from some drunken kid only to look like Robin, I conned my way in here all to see you. I care.
Serena: Well, you didn't seem to care this morning when you were with another girl and lied about it.
Vanessa: You said you love me.
Dan: Loved you. In the past, in the pre-shaving sixteen-year-old kind of way. You know, things have changed.
Serena: I hear the Ice Capades are coming to town.
Dan: If you're there, so am I.
Vanessa, wait! Why don't you wait... because you're not Vanessa. Sorry. Case of mistaken identity; ironically, not involving masks.
Vanessa: The Pacifier played for like a year.
Dan: And they said Vin Diesel couldn't do comedy.
I'm sorry. I don't know why I just said anything like that. I have, I have this thing, like a nervous tick. My mind never stops speaking, in like, ever. In fact when I was a little boy, my mom used to say there was never a word I met that I didn't like. You know what else I like? Your daughter. I, I really like your daughter.
Alright, alright. (loosening his tie) Well, then. If it's a real Dan Humphrey date that you want, then it's a real Dan Humphrey date that you're gonna get. Let's go.
I don't think mom is a big fan of surprises. Remember her 30th birthday, with the clown and his llama?
Rufus: I dated a girl like Serena, once. Actually a lot like Serena. And girls like that might be challenging. That's true. And they're complicated, and enigmatic. And usually worth it. And the only way you know for sure is to jump it with both feet.
Dan: What happened with you?
Rufus: I swam for a while. Till I drowned.
Dan: Oh. Well, thanks dad. That's a great story.
Dan: Isn't that the girl who told the entire school and, oh, several colleges, that you had a drug problem?
Serena: Yeah. But, you know, Blair can be a little... Blair. (they chuckle) We are actually trying to work things out. Today is our first day hanging out together. Alone.
Dan: Uh uh.
Serena: Uh uh. (laughs) So I should probably get back.
Dan: Yeah, sure.
Serena: But call me sometimes. So we can get together and do that thing you didn't ask me to do
