Max: You should watch the gay history channel.
Dave: That's a real thing?
Derek: Yeah it's called Bravo.

Yes I went to her prom but only because I was writing a newspaper story for the Chicago Sun Times and my boss Gary Marshall was breathing down my neck!

Alex: Well as long as Dave doesn't bring someone from Degrassi junior high again, I'm sure we'll be alright.
Dave: Hey if Degrassi's on the field, play ball. Am I right? Sorry proud of the wordplay, not the message.

What if she's pregnant? Would we raise the baby together? Would we raise it as a group? Group baby, is that a thing?

Dave: Whore's bath?
Penny: Ah yeah David, I did take a whore's bath okay? I had a one night stand and didn't have time to shower so did I rub some dryer sheets on my pits and throw some water on my hush at Au Bon Pain? Yes I did.

I call it the boxer thong, business up front, party in the rear.

Happy Endings Quotes

My secret is so big that just the tip well be enough.

Penny

Dave: Whore's bath?
Penny: Ah yeah David, I did take a whore's bath okay? I had a one night stand and didn't have time to shower so did I rub some dryer sheets on my pits and throw some water on my hush at Au Bon Pain? Yes I did.