Scrubs

Denise Mahoney Quotes

Denise [to Lucy after she yells at a cadaver]: Hey stop being weird, I'm trying to be my sandwich around some corpses.
Lucy: Why are you eating your lunch in here?
Denise: Why are you yelling at a dead guy? See, we all have a lot of questions.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cox: About as ridiculous as your five o'clock shadow. There's times I'm doing rounds and I feel like I'm teaching Yasser Arafat.
Denise: Really? I see a slightly gayer George Michael.
Cox: Oh, I so see that.
Drew: Could you please be more alike?
 • Rating: Unrated

Denise: What's going on? You texted that someone was coding in here.
Dr. Cox: You texted me, "come and show me your boobs."
Drew: I may have switched those texts, which does raise the question, why did you come, Dr. Cox?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Denise: That's exactly what Trang needed. Driving back and forth in the parking lot, reinforcing every stereotype of Asian drivers.
 • Rating: Unrated

Denise: Why you moping around like a tiny girl bitch?
Turk: Wow, can't you ever be like "hi," or even better, "what's up?"
Denise: Sure, what's up tiny girl bitch?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Russel: Jambo doctors. That's Swahili for hello or good morning.
Turk: Oh is it really? I know what it means. I had a jambo juice this morning. A berry blast with echinacea boost. It was delicious. I'm going to live forever, you're gonna be dead. I'm gonna be alive! Alive!
Denise: Wow, sure you didn't get a fem boost in there? That was pretty catty.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Turk: Where's my pastry?
Denise: Too sugary.
Turk: Nothing's too sugary woman
Denise: Tell that to your diabetes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cox: You're not going anywhere.
Denise: Would it make a difference if I told you I had a personal issue that makes staying here really horrible for me?
Cox: It would make me quite a bit happier.
 • Rating: Unrated

Drew: Strawberry frosting, nice?
Denise: Hey you got fruit, dairy, enough sugar for a month. What else do you need?
Drew: A spoon?
Denise: Use your fingers, Queen Elizabeth.
 • Rating: Unrated

Denise: I need your help. I have a patient that had to pee on a ski lift so she pulled her pants down and her butt froze to the seat and when she got off she lost most of the skin on her ass.
Drew: What's the question?
Denise: Can I laugh at that?
Drew: That depends, is she within ear shot?
Denise: No.
Drew: That's funny. No butt skin.
Denise: I lied, she's right behind you.
 • Rating: Unrated

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