Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard Quotes
Palmer: I've always been fascinated by private detectives.
Ducky: Yes, I would venture that's because you were influenced by the great literary British detectives. Sherlock Holmes, Jane Marple. They were all intelligent, cultured, articulate, refined. Not shady and unethical, like this hustler, this miscreant.
Abby: I like Ace Ventura.
- Permalink: Who indeed.
Ducky: I don't understand why people run.
Palmer: Well it's therapeutic. It has great cardio-vascular benefits. What's more, it gets the old endorphins pumping. I tell you, running gives me a great high.
Ducky: I was referring to the driver running from the scene of the accident, Mr. Palmer.
Gibbs: Duck, I have to be careful how I handle this, for Carrie's sake. She could get disbarred.
Ducky: I know you, Jethro. It sounds as if she's doing the right thing, as you are.
Gibbs: There's no right way to be his son.
Ducky: Just as there is no right way for you to act as his father. The pain of watching a parent age is unlike any other. I vividly remember the first time my mother needed help brushing her hair.
Gibbs: It's backwards.
Ducky: It certainly feels like that. But in the end, well, it's simply life.
- Permalink: It certainly feels like that. But in the end, well, it's simply life.
Tony: Do I seem okay to you?
Ducky: Markedly better than the last occupant of that table.
- Permalink: Do I seem okay to you? Markedly better than the last occupant ...
Palmer: Speaking of shaking things up, Brina and I, we're having a baby.
Ducky: My dear Jimmy! Such news shouldn't be delivered as an aside. How long have you known? When is the baby due?
Palmer: Brina's not "due" due. We're on a waiting list. We decided to adopt. We figured there were so many unwanted kids out there that we'd adopt first.
Ducky: Bravo Mr. Palmer! Such a decision is admirable and positively thrilling.
- Permalink: Speaking of shaking things up, Brina and I, we're having a baby....
Palmer: This guy's had more plastic surgery than Joan Rivers and Cher combined.
Ducky: That is an inappropriate remark Mr. Palmer, however accurate.
- Permalink: This guy's had more plastic surgery than Joan Rivers and Cher co...
The Romans believed that one should wear the wedding ring on the fourth finger of the left hand. Yes, because a vein in that finger runs straight to the heart. Vena amoris. Literally the vein of love.
- Permalink: The Romans believed that one should wear the wedding ring on the...
Palmer: No, you know what? I take it back. It is not okay. I appreciate you throwing me a bone once in a while, or in this case a finger but it's not enough. I want to step up in all aspects of my career. And I will not let you send me on my way because you think something is...what...beyond my reach? It's not beyond my reach. I can help. I want to help. I want you to teach me that.
Ducky: Are you through?
Palmer: I believe so, yes.
Ducky: Then pull up a stool.
- Permalink: No, you know what? I take it back. It is not okay. I appreciate...