Popular Dr. James Wilson Quotes
House: We are condemned to useless labor...
Dr. Wilson: Fourth circle of hell. Charting goes a lot faster when you eliminate all classic poetry.
House: Writing down what we already know to be read by nobody. Pretty sure Dante would agree that qualifies as useless.
Dr. Wilson: You're over two weeks behind in your charting...
(Dr. Cuddy approaches them, and House throws a piece of paper towards her)
House: Oops... I missed!
House: She has God inside her. It would be easier to deal with a tumor.
Dr. Wilson: Maybe she's allergic to God.
Dr. Wilson: I'm not gonna date a patient's daughter.
House: Very ethical. Of course, most married men would say they don't date at all.
Dr. Wilson: (quoting a poem from a patient of House's) "The healer with his magic powers! / I could rub his gentle brow for hours. / His manly chest, his stubbled jaw, / Everything about him leave me raw..."
House: Psych ward's upstairs
Dr. Wilson: "...with joy. Oh, House your very name / Will never leave this girl the same." It's not bad for an 82-year-old. She asked me to give that to her true love.
House: What can I say? Chicks with no teeth turn me on.
Dr. Wilson: That's fairly disgusting.
House: That's ageism.
Dr. Wilson: You better watch yourself around this babe.
Yeah, and that girl dropped the charges against Kobe. Doesn't mean that he should call her and see if she's free to get a sundae.
Fake low blood sugar. Now that's acting.
Dr. Wilson
Dr. Wilson: You don't walk out of a room with ten milligrams of Haldol in your system, you don't walk at all.
Dr. Foreman: It was ten milligrams, I gave it to her...
Dr. Cuddy: It doesn't matter! Bacterial meningitis, highly contagious, if she is out of the hospital, we are so liable.
Dr. Wilson: Not to worry. She'll be dead before she can kill anybody.
Dr. Wilson: On the other hand, there is the 'do unto others' thingy?
House: Then I should definitely tell him. I'd want to know.
Dr. Wilson: You want to know everything. There's also the 'keeping your promises' thingy.
House: You never run out of thingies.
Dr. Wilson: Oh, this is where I give you advice and pretend you're going to listen to it. I like this part. Did Rowan ask you not to tell?
House: I promised I wouldn't. My fingers were crossed, so I'm wide open.
Dr. Wilson: I was wrong - this is the musing out loud part. Do I actually need to be here?
Dr. Wilson: Come on. You know how good you have it here.
House: Yes, I'm the big poobah, the big cheese, the go-to guy.
Dr. Wilson: Seriously man, have you ever actually driven an automobile before? There are four gears, you know.
House: The '66 came with a shut-up button.
Dr. Cuddy: And is there a paternity bet on the father of the patient?
House: Doesn't sound like me.
Dr. Wilson: Well, it does, actually, but doesn't mean you're guilty.
