Nurse Jackie

Saturdays 9:00 PM on Showtime
Nurse jackie
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You're going after rich people who drink. Don't think I like that very much.

Coop: I know a thing or two.
O'Hara: At the most.

: Hugs for the continuing education, Dr. Cooper. You'll know the next big thing, won't you?!?

O'Hara: Don't think so hard.
Zoey: Not like I can help it.

You are many things, Jacks. Useless is not one of them.

I shagged a nurse. In the chapel.

If you wanna avoid people from your past, I recommend moving to another country. Worked for me.

O'Hara : Do we think Zoey got her pipes cleaned?
Jackie: That's like seeing Santa naked. It's not right.

O'Hara: I think of you like a sister.
Jackie: Think again.

Dr. O'Hara: Okay, hypothetical.
Jackie: Go.
Dr. O'Hara: Eddie and your husband decide to become friends.
Jackie: You know what...
Dr. O'Hara: Not finished. Eddie and your husband become friends and the Titanic is sinking and only one of them gets to survive. Which one?
Jackie: You know, you're really a very mean-spirited woman.

Jackie: I think Grace is starting to unravel a little bit. It's scaring the shit out of me.
Dr. O'Hara: If you need anything, and I mean anything, you'd better bloody tell me or I will kill you.
Jackie: Yes.
Dr. O'Hara: And then she'll be motherless. And then I'll have to take her.
Jackie: Oh God.

Jackie: Okay, a quick hypothetical. What would happen to a student nurse if she got busted flushing a patient's body part down the toilet?
Dr. O'Hara: That's so sweet, trying to take my mind off things with your own naughty doings. Was it a penis?
Jackie: No, an ear. Don't ask.
Dr. O'Hara: And you blamed the new girl? Well done. Well, she's a student. She won't get fired. Anyway, if you want me for backup, you can always say I ordered her to flush it.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 24 in total

Nurse Jackie Quotes

Don't ever say "ta-da." The only people that say "ta-da" are magicians or idiots.

Jackie Peyton

Percoset should never be crushed and chewed, unless you want it to hit your system like a bolt of lightening. Which is only a problem if you're afraid of lightening.

Jackie Peyton