Hank: Who is that guy Jill's talking to?
Evan: Not you.

Evan: So we agree to disagree?
Hank: Like we always do.

Hank: What's with the Johnny Cash fashion tribute?
Evan: I'm in mourning.

You're more than a genius man.

I'm not going home, he's coming back guaranteed.

Anyone else dropping by? Some huddled masses? Fagin's band of street urchins?

Divya: Tell her it won't take long.
Evan: (in very bad Italian) The clock, it will not last long.

Evan: I love ya.
Hank: Like you.

April: For the first time in my life, I may actually be in love with a guy and you want me to just relay that info to him through his half-nude, number-crunching, little brother? It's just a bit awkward, don't you think?
Evan: I think... Yeah, that would be a hundred percent socially unacceptable.

Note to self, become a doctor.