Mrs. McCluskey: Gaby, those kids of yours are turning into serial killers before our very eyes.
Gaby: Okay, I'm not going to argue with you because you're sick and totally correct.

I'm always getting my Mexicans confused, which I'm allowed to do because I'm Mexican.

Gaby

My husband's an alcoholic so I can only drink at work.

Gaby

Gaby: You can't dress for church if you want to move the 'merch. You gotta shake the rear to make them buy the gear. You wanna sell some knits, you gotta flash the...
Carlos: Gaby! I got it.

She also has the right to remain horny.

 

Gaby

Do me a favor and wait until I leave to restock the books. I can't cry again today.

Gaby

Carlos: Hey babe, I'm in the middle of something.
Gaby: Obviously not shaving or putting on deodorant. You look like a terrorist.

It's like royal wedding with a hint of slut.

Gaby

You better watch. This phone has a whoop-ass app.

Gaby

Juanita: First, kissing. Then, get married. Then, he buys me presents.
Gaby: Oh my God, you are my daughter.
Gaby: Wow. Booze, loose morals, and swearing? Too bad, there's no more Bree left.

Bree: I don't like your accusatory tone.
Gaby: Well, I'd use a different tone, but I'm trying to accuse you of something.

It's a cop funeral. What do you expect... clowns?

Gaby

Desperate Housewives Quotes

I love you once. I love you twice. I love you more than beans and rice.

Mike

There were many things Gabrielle Solis knew for certain. She knew red was her color. She knew diamonds went with everything and she knew men were all the same. But the one thing Gabrielle knew above all else...she would never want children. Unfortunately for Gabrielle, her husband, Carlos, felt differently. Yes, Gabrielle Solis knew without a doubt she didn't want to be a mother, but what she couldn't know was just how much her husband wanted to be a father, or that he'd been tampering with her birth control for months. Or that within one week's time, she'd be pregnant

Mary Alice