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Gob: And guess what else ... Dad kissed me!
Michael: How? He looked pretty unconscious in that picture.
Gob: I didn't say he was totally into it!
- Permalink: And guess what else ... Dad kissed me! How? He looked pretty u...
Gob: Well, gee, I didn't think the woman I'd be checking out at spring break would be mom.
Buster: She's better looking than the whores you date!
Gob: Don't call my escorts whores.
Buster: Mom still got it!
Gob: I don't date whores!
Lindsay: Stop it! Stop it! This objectification of women has to stop!
Michael: It's just mom and whores.
- Permalink: Well, gee, I didn't think the woman I'd be checking out at sprin...
Lindsay: This pig, Phillip Litt is out there asking girls to take their tops off...it's an outrage.
Gob: Ha, well of course you feel that way, you're jealous; you're a surfboard...but I do agree he is a pig...
- Permalink: This pig, Phillip Litt is out there asking girls to take their t...
Gob: Somebody just wanted to say ... (holds up Franklin) how much they missed you.
Lucille: Oh, who let that black (bleep) in? (Gob knocks her unconcious)
Buster: Hey, brother!
Franklin (Gob): Who you callin' "brother," you hook-ass --
Buster: Mother ...!
(Buster blows the rape horn and Gob knocks him out)
Geroge Sr.: What the hell kind of puppet is that on Buster's hand?
- Permalink: Somebody just wanted to say ... how much they missed you. Oh...
Gob: So what, you're gonna cover her eyes, take her out to the limo...?
George Sr.: No, we're going to knock her out with this ether, stuff her in this garment bag and carry her out to the car, if anyone see's you do the same. Oh, hi Tobias.
Mrs. Featherbottom: (singing) Whenever I get a wee bit scared I hum a little tune, humdidididi...doo.
- Permalink: So what, you're gonna cover her eyes, take her out to the limo.....
Franklin (Gob): I don't wanna kiss that old bitch!
George Sr.: That's my wife, you bastard! (chokes puppet)
Gob: Ow, Dad, that's my wrist ...
(George Sr. chokes Gob)
Franklin (Gob): Hey, man, that's his neck!
- Permalink: I don't wanna kiss that old bitch! That's my wife, you bastard...
Gob: Nice to meet you. (walks away)
Mrs. Veal: Your family is lovely!
Michael: Does it seem that way? Where's Buster?
- Permalink: Nice to meet you. Your family is lovely! Does it seem that ...
George Michael: Gangy's having an anniversary party?
Michael: Seems that way.
George Michael: Hey, is Franklin gonna be there?
Gob: See that, Mike? Kids love Franklin.
George Michael: I just don't want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann.
- Permalink: Gangy's having an anniversary party? Seems that way. Hey, is...
Gob: Franklin said some things Whitey just wasn't ready to hear.
Michael: Gob, weren't you also mercilessly beaten outside of a club in Torrance for that act?
Gob: He also said some things that African-Americany wasn't ready to hear, either.
- Permalink: Franklin said some things Whitey just wasn't ready to hear. Go...
Gob: Michael, I've been looking for you.
Michael: Looks like you're looking for dragons... In the future.
Gob: I wouldn't mock the Sword of Destiny, Michael.
Michael: Careful with that Gob.
(Gob sticks the sword into his side)
Gob: Nope.... Yeah, that's blood.
- Permalink: Michael, I've been looking for you. Looks like you're looking ...
Gob: Yeah, I need a tea to give my dingle less tingle. Me quick want slow. Wait, that's Indian.
Salesman: Tea for dong!
- Permalink: Yeah, I need a tea to give my dingle less tingle. Me quick want ...
Tony Wonder: You like bread?
Tony Wonder: Have some.
Buster: Wow, it's warm.
Gob: (completely astounded) How did you do that?
Tony Wonder: Oh-oh-oh, magicians only.
(He whispers the "illusion" to Buster)
Buster: Wow, that sounds easy.
- Permalink: You like bread? Yeah. Have some. Wow, it's warm. How di...