Favorite Hermes Quotes
They have phones in booths now? Finally, now I don't have to lug this cell phone around.
Computer: Also you have a rectangular object in your colon.
Hermes: That's a calculator. I ate it to gain its power.
The important thing is that we don't panic. There are rules for situations like this. Now, the first order of business is lunch. I suggest a nice lobster Zoidberg - I mean lobster Newburg - I mean Doctor Zoidberg.
Doctor: My God I've never seen such a gruesome shark attack, especially this far inland.
Leela: It wasn't a shark it was an awful, incompetent doctor.
Doctor: Wow, he must have been a total zoidberg.
Hermes: It was Zoidberg!
Hermes: What are you hacking off? Is it my torso? It is! My precious torso!
Zoidberg: Hermes, quiet! I'm deducing things.
Zoidberg: You? The successor? Over my empty shell! The Professor will pick me. Only I have his lobster-like tenacity.
Hermes: Up yours, Zoidberg. Up wherever your species traditionally crams things. The only sensible way to choose a successor is with a limbo contest.
Leela: What?
Hermes: Kingston rules. Two men go down, one come up.
Is it just me, or is the world ending more often these days?
Leela: You make it look so easy.
Hermes: I've smoked a lot of paperwork in my day.
Bender: Uh, it was ghosts! Big ones! And a tornado!
Hermes: Oh! I'll never pass inspection now. They'll bust me lower than a limbo stick... at carnival time. And that's as low as limbo sticks get.
Hermes: Sorry, I spent all day putting my office in order. Now I got to go home and relax the traditional Jamaican way: A glass of warm milk and good night sleep.
Fry: Jamaican? I thought you were some kinda outer-space potato man.
Now, look here, Bender. I respect your diversity to the extent the law requires but you used up all your days off when you had that bout with Roberculosis.
Professor: Then we plunged into a massive worm hole, never to be seen again...
Bender: Yeah we're back!
Hermes: Sweet coincidence of Port Au Prince, we're back at Earth!
Professor: Of course! That was the Panama worm hole, Earth's central channel for shipping.
Dr. Zoidberg: How humorous.
Professor: It's sort of a Comedy Central shipping channel and now we're on it.
Amy: I get it!
