Hermes Quotes
Hermes: He must've gone out looking for that mermaid. The poor, demented honky.
Leela: It's ocean madness alright. Sailors call it aqua dementia, the deep-down crazies, the wet willies, the screaming moist!
Amy: You think you saw a mermaid?
Fry: No, I did see a mermaid! She was wearing a tube top and she had a beautiful scaly tail. And I think she had hair extensions.
Bender: Yeah, right!
Leela: Sure she did.
Hermes: OK, Fry!
Farnsworth: You're simply hallucinating, you... moron.
Leela: OK, everyone, calm down. The Professor and I will get to work on the ship. Bender, Zoidberg, since you can survive underwater, you'll go out and look for food.
Fry: I'd better go too. They don't know what I like.
Hermes: Fry, no! The pressure will crush you like a green snake under a sugar cane truck.
The important thing is that we don't panic. There are rules for situations like this. Now, the first order of business is lunch. I suggest a nice lobster Zoidberg - I mean lobster Newburg - I mean Doctor Zoidberg.
Vernon: Professor Farnsworth, do you know why we've called you here today?
Farnsworth: Listen to me, you pompous frauds. If I'm going down, I'm taking you all with me. Dean Vernon, I know the truth: It was you driving your hover-car that night, not your horse. Dean Epsilon, I know all about your "Department of Pool Boy Studies". And Dr. Wernstrom... Wernstrom!
Vernon: Actually, Professor, we merely called you here to say... Surprise!
Man #1: Surprise!
Man #2: Happy birthday!
Hermes: Surprise!
Farnsworth: And you, Coach Smalley, or should I say "Coach hairpiece"?
Cubert: Good news, everyone! He's made a complete recovery.
Amy: Yeah!
Hermes: Wow!
Leela: All right!
Farnsworth: I'm as spry as a 140-year-old. [He jumps and something cracks.] See? I only broke one ankle.
Farnsworth: Everyone, I have a very dramatic announcement. So anyone with a weak heart should leave now. Goodbye.
Leela: Uh, Professor?
Farnsworth: Oh, oh, yes, the announcement! As you all know, I am not long for this world.
Leela: Yes, we know.
Hermes: True, mon.
Amy: Buh!
Fry: One foot in the grave.
Zoidberg: You? The successor? Over my empty shell! The Professor will pick me. Only I have his lobster-like tenacity.
Hermes: Up yours, Zoidberg. Up wherever your species traditionally crams things. The only sensible way to choose a successor is with a limbo contest.
Leela: What?
Hermes: Kingston rules. Two men go down, one come up.
Hermes: Sorry, I spent all day putting my office in order. Now I got to go home and relax the traditional Jamaican way: A glass of warm milk and good night sleep.
Fry: Jamaican? I thought you were some kinda outer-space potato man.
The Central Bureaucracy is conducting an inspection tomorrow. I will finally be promoted to grade 35, the 35th highest grade there is.
Morgan: Bureaucrat Conrad, if you complete your death transaction without filing a suicide and/or falling accident permit, you will be posthumously demoted.
Hermes: Life. Death. Either way I'm demoted to a tiny cubicle.
Outta my way, wife! I wasn't cut out to be a bureaucrat anyway. I'm only anal 78.36% of the time. I'm not worthy to stamp a form, so I'll stamp the pavement with my flabby body.
