The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSFavorite Howard Wolowitz Quotes
Okay. One way to look at this is I'm getting new equipment and you're not, and that's unfair. But a better way to look at this is that I'm getting sex and you're not, and that's delightful!
Howard: They spent a ton of money developing this dandruff medication that had the horrible side effect of anal leakage.
Raj: Is there a good anal leakage?
Raj: I didn't know you can have a cyst inside a cyst.
Mrs. Wolowitz: The doctor said they were like Russian nesting dolls.
If you don't leave now, she'll use food and guilt to keep you there the rest of your life.
Howard: A micro-valentine for a microbiologist.
Leonard: From her micro-husband.
She hid my Xbox like I'm a child. And, my mom got me that for my birthday so if you don't give it back, I'm telling.
Thanks for ruining lobster for me.
Howard: Last time I was here, I was a scrawny little nerd.
Leonard: And, now, you're also an astronaut.
Howard: So take what's in that blog and use it to get her pants off.
Raj: Why do you have to make everything so filthy? Why couldn't you just say the blog is like her giving me the key to her heart?
Howard: The key to her heart. That's nice. Were you quoting someone or is it tattooed on the small of your back?
Raj: I was quoting a man who knows a thing or two about women: Sir Elton John.
Howard: Why don't you put her in a kennel?
Raj: Why don't you put your mother in a home?
Howard: To be honest, she'd do better in the kennel.
Howard: How'd you get him to come to your house?
Sheldon: As Professor Proton says, "There is no problem you can't solve if you use your noggin."
Leonard: And, he wrote him a check.
Sheldon: Yeah, that too. A big check.
Howard: Classy dog.
Raj: Yes. Also, don't forget to close the toilet or she'll drink out of it.
Howard: I feel for ya I have a psychotic mommy, too.
