Favorite Jack Carter Quotes
Fargo: I was in here playing laser tag in my body, the next thing I knew I was in you!
Jack: Never phrase it that way again.
Jack: Do you know how Fargo's been living on my couch and spending every second with his sort of dead girlfriend, it's not healthy. So I'm wondering in your lovable and tactful way maybe......
Andy: Kick'em to the curb?
Jack: Glad we understand each other.
Vincent: Zane forgot his sunglasses
Jack: Oh, I will take them to him [picks up sunglasses] Wow, nice shades Ponch!
Henry: The experiments are unorthodoxed.
Jack: Lab-rat Carter at your service, count me in
Allison: What do you think I go around comparing your IQ to my previous husbands?
Jack: I do now.
Jack: It's me, the real Jack, I love you.. Do you trust me?
Allison: No.
Jack: Really??! I thought that would go differently.
Allison: Now that we are involved I had to file an IA248 with the DOD
Jack: IA??
Allison: It's the form required for our intimate alliance.
Jack: There can't be a form for that!
Henry: That's disconcerting
Jack: It's bad isn't it? What is it? Subdermal hematoma, pheocromacytoma, concussion... Uh, there was a House marathon on last night.
Carter: Do I have to lick the lock?
Holly: You can if you want, but that would be really weird.
Carter: Someone stick her in front of a cartoon!
Warren: That is! I think we have what we need.
Jack: That's it?
Warren: What, were you expecting the Spanish Inquisition?
Jack: Uh, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
Zane: You saw her naked.
Jack: What are you six?
Nothing says good morning like a jar of cow.
