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Jared: He's not her type.
Peter: Oh yeah because she couldn't be interested in a fitness freak who gives happy endings for a living.

Jared: Stealing a wave.
Peter: That's just unCalifornian.

The blackmail thing is kind of ruining the can-do spirit.

Damien: If you accepted a job with these two street minstrels you must have gotten your degree at a mall kiosk.
Jared: She did. A little kiosk called Stanford.

Don't look him in the eye he'll suck out your soul like a dementor.

That speech was one third St. Elmo's Fire and two thirds Hunger Games.

Jared: Cheer up Pindy. We found your missing package. Mega Ab Belt, right behind the planter.
Pindar: Oh great. My cell mate can lay his head on my rock hard abs.

Peter: If Rob Lowe wants a fight, he's got one.
Jared: We've got to get facials.

Damien: Wow you look stressed.
Jared: You don't. What's up?

No guitar. You're not a mariachi. It's weird to bring it on a date.

Jared: The one I like is when Infeld stole his prom date.
Damien: And I never saw it coming.

Denny, I hate to tell you this but someone just hit pause on your new life.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 99 in total

Franklin & Bash Quotes

See that's a talent, sounding like a total asshole even when you're supposedly saying something sincere.


"Sorry, sorry. Jean Claude Van Damme marathon last night. Unavoidable.

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