Favorite Jeff Barnes Quotes
Rumor has it you're pregnant. Is there room in that womb for two?
Morgan: Are you guys ready?
Lester: I was born ready.
Jeff: I was born premature.
Nothing I won't do for 30 dollars and a sandwich...or just a sandwich.
Lester [to Morgan about Hannah]: How'd it go last night?
Jeff: You take her to pound town?
Lester: I'm gonna need an address on that.
Chuck: Happy Holidays, maybe drink some water.
Jeff: Water can only dilute this feeling.
Lester: Plus, fish have sex in it.
Casey: In an alley, 4th and Hill. I'll be in a dumpster.
Jeff: Don't worry Casey. I know that dumpster.
My life would be a never ending Cialis commercial if I had her.
Jeff [about Hannah]: I'm gonna totally hit that.
Lester: May the best stalker win.
Morgan: Carina is not just some girl. She's basically a Swedish supermodel. The country's greatest export since Björn Borg.
Jeff: People mistake him for me all the time.
You're leaving me with home appliances? It's filled with lumpy housewives... my favorite.
Jeff: You wanna see something really freaky? (They break into Casey's locker) Dude keeps a Chuck diary.
Lester: Bathroom visits. And duration.
Jeff: Keys, duct tape, high-grade chloroform.
Devon: Whoa.
Jeff: From one stalker to another, I'm impressed.
Devon: You guys think this has something to do with Chuck missing?
Lester: I don't care.
Jeff: No clue. You mind if I, uh, get right? (He takes a hit of chloroform and passes out)
Lester: Do you ever miss Ace of Base?
Jeff: Always.
