Favorite Jeff Barnes Quotes
Lester: Do you ever miss Ace of Base?
Jeff: Always.
Lester: Did you feel that?
Jeff: I haven't felt anything in years.
Jeff: You wanna see something really freaky? (They break into Casey's locker) Dude keeps a Chuck diary.
Lester: Bathroom visits. And duration.
Jeff: Keys, duct tape, high-grade chloroform.
Devon: Whoa.
Jeff: From one stalker to another, I'm impressed.
Devon: You guys think this has something to do with Chuck missing?
Lester: I don't care.
Jeff: No clue. You mind if I, uh, get right? (He takes a hit of chloroform and passes out)
Casey: Where's the fish?
Jeff: Fish? What fish?
Casey: Okay we can do it the easy way or the hard way. The easy way is I shove his foot up your ass.
Jeff: What's the hard way?
Casey: I use my foot!
Jeff: That's my dream come true: Ellie is exactly like Chuck but with lady parts.
Lester: Morgan! You got to break Morgan. Chuck tells him everything.
Jeff: His beard holds so many secrets.
Morgan: May I present to you the urinal cake. Okay. Here's the deal. The winner will be the first one of you...
(Jeff takes a bite out of the urinal cake)
Butterman: Oh, come on!
Morgan: (to Jeff) Dude, seriously, are you kidding me? What is wrong with you? You were just supposed to touch it.
Jeff: I still win, right?
Jeff: Do they have any idea how much stalking experience I have?
Lester: If only they did Jeffery. You're very prolific. You're the Picasso of creepiness.
Jeff: It's true and this is my Blue Period.
Lester: How much do you think a toe is worth to Casey?
Jeff: Why?
Lester: Maybe there's a finder's fee.
Ned: Chuck, you've been a good friend to me, so I'm gonna return the favor, I'm gonna let your girlfriend go.
Chuck: No.
Ellie: Chuck.
Jeff: Ouch!
Lester: Yikes, you get cold Christmases at the Bartowski's.
Buy More Employee: Oh no, he didn't.
Jeff [to Hannah]: Nice.
Chuck: Why don't we give jeff a couple minutes to realize he's in the real world.
Alex [dressed as stripper]: I understand one of you has been a naughty, naughty boy.
Lester: Me, oh my God, pick me, I'm so bad, I've been bad, I've been bad, I'm a bad person, I'm a terrible person.
Jeff: I broke eight and a half commandments on the way to work this morning
