Popular Jeff Winger Quotes
The Dean: I thought you had a degree from Columbia.
Jeff: Yes, and now I need to get one from America.
I did a little bit of lying to get close to you. I mean, you look like Elisbaeth Shue.
There's a guy trying out for the track team that is older than the game of poker.
Sorry, I was raised on TV. I was conditioned to believe that every black woman over 50 is a mentor of some kind.
Jeff: I'm actually a Spanish tutor.
Britta: Can you say that in Spanish now?
We're the only species on Earth that observes Shark Week.
Jeff: You did seem less into integrity the day that I convinced 12 of your peers that the day you made a U-turn on the freeway and tried to order chalupas from the emergency call box, that your only real crime was loving America.
Professor Duncan: Well, I do love America. I love it very much. I love chalupas.
The truth is my life is emptier than this three ring binder. Annie, do you have any Spanish notes that might fit in there? Double spaced? Thank you. What's a guy gotta do to get a "C" around here?
Pierce: Why don't we go get a beer? I'll give you some advice and we can have what the kids are calling a sausage fest
Jeff: I'm not much of a sausage guy, maybe next time, Pierce
Pierce: I can't have children. I'm not sterile. In fact, it's a rare condition they call it hyper virility. Apparently my sperm shoot through the egg if you can believe it
Jeff: I can't, but you can, so that's fine
Pierce: Let's have one drink before we work ... to the empowerment of words
Jeff: To the irony of that sentence
The state bar has suspended my license. They found out my college degree was less than legitimate.
