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Rufus: You used to cry when I didn't walk you to school.
Jenny: That wasn't me, that was Dan.
Dan: I was six. It was a very emotional time for me, post-tee ball.
- Permalink: You used to cry when I didn't walk you to school. That wasn't...
Elise: What are you doing? He's gorgeous.
Jenny: He's a dog-walker. I need a king, not a jester.
- Permalink: What are you doing? He's gorgeous. He's a dog-walker. I need ...
Dan: I can't concentrate.
Jenny: The sound of your own voice annoying you?
- Permalink: I can't concentrate. The sound of your own voice annoying you...
Blair: If you go with them, I'll ruin you.
Jenny: And how are you possibly going to do that?
- Permalink: If you go with them, I'll ruin you. And how are you possibly ...
Jenny: Well, I've never seen you give up so easily.
Dan: Can you not start with me?
Jenny: Can you not give me something to start with? Why are you taking his advice? He's old and alone.
Jenny: Tell Serena again. Without the pregnancy scare in a quiet, without a distraction kind of way. But, then again, what do I know about romance or anything else?
Dan: No, no. Actually, Jen, that's a very good idea.
Jenny: What would you do without me?
Dan: Promise me I will find out one day?
- Permalink: Well, I've never seen you give up so easily. Can you not star...
Rufus: My son, the writer.
Alison: Published writer.
Jenny: Yeah, you got your dream girl and you're star of the New Yorker. Maybe you should just die now.
Dan: It's true. I may have peaked.
- Permalink: My son, the writer. Published writer. Yeah, you got your dr...
Dan: Hey, Mrs. van der Woods... Lily, hi!
Lily: Dan. Jenny.
Dan: Yeah, um, they don't allow Christmas trees inside... which is why we're out here.
Jenny: Which is why Dan wants to ask from you a favor.
Lily: Let me guess. Does it involve distracting Dexter while you sneak that into the elevator?
Dan: Why, would that work?
Lily: No. Never. He has the eyes of a hawk and he takes his job very seriously.
Dan: So, I've noticed.
Lily: But Bobby at the service entrance, I think could be bought. Come.
- Permalink: Hey, Mrs. van der Woods... Lily, hi! Dan. Jenny. Hi! Tree...
Dan: (reading a Christmas card) This one is from the Smiths. "Seasons Greetings." It's very original.
Jenny: Their name is Smith, you don't have to be original.
- Permalink: (reading a Christmas card) This one is from the Smiths. Seasons...
Jenny: Well, keep dreaming. Maybe one day she'll actually know your name.
Dan: Yeah, maybe. And then I'll have something to be thankful for.
- Permalink: Well, keep dreaming. Maybe one day she'll actually know your na...
Blair: If you think about it, it makes total sense that your mom was a groupie. I mean, only a woman that had completely satisfied her sexual appetite in her youth would ever marry your stepdads.
Serena: Blair, can we not talk about my mom's appetite?
Dan: No, or who satisfied her.
Serena: That's just...
Dan, Jenny, Eric, and Serena: Gross!
- Permalink: If you think about it, it makes total sense that your mom was a...
Jenny: Everything okay?
Serena: I'm not sure. Dan surprised me by showing up here.
Jenny: Well, go Dan!
Serena: Yeah, except then he threw me through a loop by chasing after some girl named Vanessa.
Jenny: No, V's Dan's best friend.
- Permalink: Everything okay? I'm not sure. Dan surprised me by showing up...
He'd probably go anywhere with you. Except maybe the Ice Capades because that really freaked him out when he was five.
- Permalink: He'd probably go anywhere with you. Except maybe the Ice Capade...