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New-girl

Jess: Where are you guys going?
Biology Teacher: In life, nowhere.

Jess: Nick calls birds 'wind-mice.' Nick says 'yahtzee' when he climaxes. He calls turtles 'shell-beavers.'
Nick: Well, that's what they should be called.

What's up, Coach? You have so many sweatpants! You need to buy normal pants!

Nick: I know where you live!
Jess: And I live where you live!

Boob season's over, for you!

You don't like lakes, I don't like space! It's okay!

Jess: Why does your bottom need to breathe?
Nick: It's like a plant. It needs sun and air.

You're Abby Freakin' Day. You can do whatever you want. Except vote.

Ooh, bonus shot of Dad getting a haircut while eating spaghetti!

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