Tuesdays 9:00 PM on FOX
New-girl

I'm gonna Biden his ass!

Jess: Where are you guys going?
Biology Teacher: In life, nowhere.

Jess: Nick calls birds 'wind-mice.' Nick says 'yahtzee' when he climaxes. He calls turtles 'shell-beavers.'
Nick: Well, that's what they should be called.

What's up, Coach? You have so many sweatpants! You need to buy normal pants!

Nick: I know where you live!
Jess: And I live where you live!

Boob season's over, for you!

You don't like lakes, I don't like space! It's okay!

Jess: Why does your bottom need to breathe?
Nick: It's like a plant. It needs sun and air.

You're Abby Freakin' Day. You can do whatever you want. Except vote.

Ooh, bonus shot of Dad getting a haircut while eating spaghetti!

Have you seen a girl who looks like me, but with chaos in her eyes?

Nick, I never thought I'd say this, but I need to be alone with Prince.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 109 in total

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach
x Close Ad