Jess Day Quotes
I thought you said you were afraid of camping and nature. You said you were afraid a fly was going to fly in your head and learn all your thoughts.
Nick doesn't have a life plan. He doesn't have a day plan. I once found a note that he wrote to himself that said, "Put on pants."
I call it a "Temple Grandin," because it makes me friendly and compassionate.
Nick isn't even a man. He's some kind of man-boy, man-child hybrid. The other day, I had to tell him not to pull a dog's tail.
Schmidt, you stole my toothpaste while I was using it. That's vindictive.
Winston: Schmidt, you can't move out! Who's gonna do my fades?!
Jess: Yeah, who's gonna do his fades?!
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I'm having a party tonight and I can't have him lying on the couch, wiping his tears with deli meat.
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My boyfriend doesn't believe in banks. It's early in the relationship. I'm still shaving above the knee. Know what I mean?
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Oh my God. It is a hand...full of dollar bills y'all!
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Nick: It's Schmidt we're talking about here. After we saw the movie "Titanic," he started the Billy Zane Fan Club.
Nick: Look it up. They're called Zane-iacs.
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Jess: I have to show Nick...something in the bathroom.
Nick: It's tiles...I'm so bad at lying! It's for sex!
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Nick: You know so many "Spaceballs" quotes.
Jess: They jammed the radar with literal jam!
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