New Girl

Tuesdays 9:00 PM on FOX
New girl
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You don't like lakes, I don't like space! It's okay!

Jess: Why does your bottom need to breathe?
Nick: It's like a plant. It needs sun and air.

You're Abby Freakin' Day. You can do whatever you want. Except vote.

Ooh, bonus shot of Dad getting a haircut while eating spaghetti!

Have you seen a girl who looks like me, but with chaos in her eyes?

Nick, I never thought I'd say this, but I need to be alone with Prince.

I'm in a limo! I wish I had really long legs so I could stretch 'em out the length of the limo!

Jess: Have you guys been baking?
Coach: Aww, nah--a bakery downtown exploded, don't bother looking into it, it's not on the internet.

Do not challenge me to a sex stand-off. I can channel all of my sexual energy into knitting. How do you think I made it through high school?

Nick: I'm gonna have to turn off the tap!
Jess: What tap?
Nick: The sex tap!
Jess: But I need my vitamin D!

Jess: Nothin' but net!
Coach: Traditionally, that refers to hitting nothing but the inside of the net.

Jess: So Nick doesn't have a traditional career.
Nick: Or is it the MOST traditional career? Or am I thinking of prostitution?

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 115 in total

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach