Welcome to your bachelorette party 2.0.

I said chill day in, but did I mean it?

Is this change of plans an overreaction to something?

Jess: Nick, are you eating raisins from my purse? I confiscated those from a kid.
Nick: That explains why they're so sticky. Sticky Nicky eats anything and I don't get sick.

Oh my god, I'm going to be friends with a gas celebrity.

This looks like an ad for a bong making company.

Jess: Sometimes I think I was bred in a lab to help people.
Winston: You know what else they bred in a lab? Pugs.

Jess: I just want to say I'm honored you're trusting me.
Schmidt: Oh, I'm not.

I do all her work and she does all the working of her cleavage.

Jury duty was quite simply the tops.

Schmidt: Oh good lord! I'm marrying Nick.
Jess: Duh.

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Why does he act like the Pope when he's happy?

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.


Get rid of it, Jess. Pine has no place in this loft. It's the wood of poor people and outhouses.