Jess Day Quotes
Jess: Nick, are you eating raisins from my purse? I confiscated those from a kid.
Nick: That explains why they're so sticky. Sticky Nicky eats anything and I don't get sick.
Oh my god, I'm going to be friends with a gas celebrity.
This looks like an ad for a bong making company.
Jess: Sometimes I think I was bred in a lab to help people.
Winston: You know what else they bred in a lab? Pugs.
Jess: I just want to say I'm honored you're trusting me.
Schmidt: Oh, I'm not.
I do all her work and she does all the working of her cleavage.
Jury duty was quite simply the tops.
Schmidt: Oh good lord! I'm marrying Nick.
Why does he act like the Pope when he's happy?
OK, yes, she's a hot slob. Ever since she got boobs people stopped making her do stuff.
Winston: Live from New York, it's Coach's goodbye!
Jess: Show's over.
Winston: We ain't doing this?
Schmidt: I know this might seem crazy and probably a little bit impulsive, but it's not, not for me. I've known since the minute that I've met you.
Cece: Oh god, you're going to say something stupid, aren't you?
Schmidt: Girl, will you marry me?
Cece: Yes. Yes, yes, yes!
Jess: We're getting married!