I feel like Laura might be gay. Hear me out Laura, you hated having sex with your boyfriend even though he played hockey. And, and your vest.

Can you believe my friend told me she died so that she didn't have to hang out with me?

This is a space cigarette invited by Stephen Dorff. It's just water vapor and good things like that.

Oh that's amazing. It's really hard for a jew to gain respect in sports.

I learned a lot of great communications games in rehab.

I'm not even attracted to you. I was wearing rehab goggles.

Shoshanna: You look like a junkie.
Jessa: I am a junkie.

BD I'm not gonna help you kill yourself. Really I can not keep having this discussion. The first day I thought it was colorful and cute, but now it's just getting bizarre.

You can't go to Connecticut. You will die there.

You're pussying out on this whole thing. The thing that we're all trying to do which is make it work regardless of location, right where we are.

Oh hey, I see you haven't back off on the self tanner.

Oh so this is how you guys really sound. I thought this was just mixed really badly.

Girls Quotes

Ok I think I got everything, testicles, spectacles, wallet, and watch.

Hannah

Jessa: It's pot, do you want some?
Shoshanna: Oh no, I'm hyper enough already.