Jill: So how does pizza and a shower sound?
Hank: Like the crust would get soggy.

You'll end up where you're suppose to be, what matters is that you're taking the leap.

Jill: I don't want to be a downer, but they're not going to let us in there.
Divya: Why not?
Jill: Because we are dressed like mothers.

Jill: Guess you can be both.
Hank: Both?
Jill: Concierge doctor to the rich, and an on-call doctor to the rest of us. Robin Hood of medicine.
Hank: As long as no tights are involved.

(as Evan runs into Jill in the street)
Evan: Hey, don't I know you?
Jill: They just don't make pickup lines like they used to.
Evan: I have been labeled a progressive.

Jill: So you and your brother seem pretty different.
Hank: On a good day, very different.

Tucker: (to Hank) Your date seems to be having a good time.
Hank: Oh, no...
Jill: Oh, this...
Hank: This is not a date.
Jill: It's not a date.
Tucker: Awww. (chuckles)
Libby: What do you kids call it these days?

Jill: Thanks again for helping out.
Hank: Hey, that's what friends who sleep together and then don't talk about it are for.

(Hank about to meet the people who fired him)
Jill: Just talk to them human being to human being.
Hank: I would, I'm just not sure they are human beings.

I'd rather take the heat for being with the right guy than play by the book with the wrong one.

(Hank runs into Jill in the street with gourmet coffee)
Hank: Is the, uh, hospital coffee really that bad?
Jill: Oh, officially speaking? No, it's delicious. But off the record...
Hank: You could remove nail polish with it.

Jill: Feel this. Silk. How much do you think this benefit costs?
Hank: I don't know. A lot?
Jill: Twice that. At least.

Royal Pains Quotes

Yeah, dude. Don't punk the crackberry. She'll light your ass up like a Christmas tree.

Tucker

Note to self, become a doctor.

Evan