Popular Jim Halpert Quotes
Michael: OK, so Dwight, in your own words: "Someone replaced all my pens and pencils with crayons. I suspect Jim Halpert... Everyone has called me 'Dwayne' all day. I think Jim Halpert paid them to."
Jim: [to camera] Yes. Five bucks each, and it was totally worth it.
I'm going to propose tonight. Holy crap!
Dwight: Also, this should be accompanied by a monetary prize.
Jim: Well, in an ideal world-
Dwight: In an ideal world I would have all 10 fingers on my left hand so my right hand could just be a fist for punching.
Dwight: If you're ever in the area, you'll always have a place to stay...in my barn.
Jim: There it is.
You guys are filming people when they go to the bathroom now?
Jim: You gotta figure this out.
Jim: Have sex with a woman.
Andy: Oh, yeah!
Jim: Then a man. Then compare.
Jim: Can't you do something about this?
Robert: Sometimes the flowers arrange themselves, Jim.
Jim: Dwight! Are your legs broken?
Dwight: No. My right one's falling asleep a little bit.
Jim: Andy, are you all right?
Andy: Go away, Tuna! I'm winning this!
What has two thumbs and hates Todd Packer? This guy!Jim
Michael: I am going to donate to Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Jim: Oh, I think you mean the Aid to Afghanistan.
Michael: No, I mean Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Michael: That's a dog.
Pam: No, that's afghan.
Michael: That's a shawl.
Dwight: Wait, canine AIDS?
Michael: No, humans with AIDS.
Creed: Who has AIDS?
Last week, Dwight sent out a memo about the dress code. So, this is me showing him that I'm taking it very seriously.
Dwight: Ah, that baby is just discovering the whole wide world right now.
Jim: It's pretty amazing.
Dwight: What up is, what down is, who mom is. Who dad is. It must be tough being here with all that going on.
Jim: Oh it's tough being here for a lot of reasons.
Dwight: I mean, you're here at work, the baby thinks that the refrigerator is its father.
Jim: Is that what happened to you?