Jim: Um, is it me or does it smell like updog in here?
Michael: What's updog?
Jim: Nothing much, what's up with you?

Not enough for me? You are everything.

Jim: Sorry ... you like heart-shaped jewelry, right?
Pam: No ...except for the pendant you got me, I love that.

Andy: Beer me!
Jim: What's that?
Andy: Hand me that water. I always say, "Beer me." Gets a laugh like a quarter of the time.
Jim: Lord, beer me strength.

What the hell's a rundown?

Michael: Dwight, what's your middle name?
Dwight: Danger.
Michael: Something with a 'K'.
Jim: It's Kurt. Wow, I'm so sad I know that.

Michael: Jim, Jim!
Jim: What is it?
Michael: That is vodka and I mixed it with orange juice. I call it an orange-vod-juice...ka.
Jim: Wow, that is delicious.
Michael: Yeah.
Jim: Can't believe no one's thought of that.
Michael: I know!

It's a bold move to Photoshop yourself into a picture with your girlfriend and her kids on a ski trip with their real father. But then again, Michael's a bold guy. [pause] Is bold the right word?

Jim

I'm going to propose tonight. Holy crap!

Karen: Hey dummy! Get in the car!
Jim: I'm a drunk driver.
Karen: Yes you are.

And for my next trick, I will make my career disappear.

Dwight: I have a girlfriend.
Jim: Sure you do.

The Office Quotes

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy