Jim: Um, is it me or does it smell like updog in here?
Michael: What's updog?
Jim: Nothing much, what's up with you?

Dwight: Jim, tell him wear he can stick his grapes.
Jim: In the fridge!

I wanna clamp Michael's face in a George Foreman grill.


CeCe if you're watching this at home, it's way past your bed time. By the way, how'd this get televised?

Oscar: Jim, did Michael fall into a koi pond?
Jim: Mmmmm... it's like Michael said, it was, um... something else.
Michael: It was ... okay, this is what it was. It was these bunch of idiots who put a fish tank in the ground with no cover, and no railing.
Angela: So you fell in.
Michael: No, maybe I was trying to save a child that had fallen in.
Angela: So a child had fallen in?
Michael: Not yet.

What the hell's a rundown?

My roommate wants to meet everybody. Because I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm making Dwight up. He is very real.


This is a fire cracker-free wedding.

Jim: How many buttons do you have?
Dwight: 40...always.

Michael: Who's seen Titanic?
Jim: I'm not really sure what movie you're talking about. Are you sure you've got the title right?
Pam: I think you're thinking of The Hunt for Red October.

Michael: Oh, my God, what happened?
Jim: We were robbed last night.
Dwight: Bravo, Watson. Looks like a classic seven-man job. Okay, security tapes were stolen, Motives - financial, or possible, vintage HP computer collectors. Hank down at security had clocked out. And that's all we have.

Not enough for me? You are everything.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 442 in total

The Office Quotes

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.


If onlys and justs were candies and nuts, then everyday would be un de donkfest!

x Close Ad