Popular Jim Halpert Quotes
Andy: Beer me!
Jim: What's that?
Andy: Hand me that water. I always say, "Beer me." Gets a laugh like a quarter of the time.
Jim: Lord, beer me strength.
Not enough for me? You are everything.
Jim: Um, is it me or does it smell like updog in here?
Michael: What's updog?
Jim: Nothing much, what's up with you?
Michael: Jim, Jim!
Jim: What is it?
Michael: That is vodka and I mixed it with orange juice. I call it an orange-vod-juice...ka.
Jim: Wow, that is delicious.
Jim: Can't believe no one's thought of that.
Michael: I know!
Jim: I don't have a ton of contact with the Scranton branch, but before I left, I took a box of Dwight's stationery, so from time to time I send Dwight faxes. From himself. From the future: "Dwight, at 8am today, someone poisons the coffee. Do not drink the coffee. More instructions will follow. Cordially, Future Dwight."
Creed: I want to set you up with my daughter.
Jim: Oh, I'm engaged to Pam.
Creed: I thought you were gay.
Jim: Then why would you want to set me up with your daughter?
Creed: I don't know.
Dwight: What's your daughter's name again? Pee Pee?
Jim: Pee Pa.
Everything I have I owe to this job...this stupid, wonderful, boring, amazing job.
Michael: Guys! Beef: it's what's for dinner! Who wants some man meat?
Dwight: I do! I want some man meat!
Jim: Michael, Dwight would like your man meat.
Michael: Well then, my man meat he shall have.
Oscar: So, Pam told me you do a great Stanley impression. I'd love to hear it.
Jim: Oh, um. "Why do you keep CCing me on things that have nothing to do with me?"
Stanley: Is that supposed to be me?
Jim: Oh, hey, Stanley. Uh, I was just doing an impression.
Stanley: I do not think that is funny.
Pam: He does everyone in the office.
Stanley: Hmph. [leaves]
Jim and Pam: "I do not think that is funny."
Jim: Do we all have a copy of "Threat Level: Midnight" by Michael Scott?
Michael: Ok, I have an announcement.
Oscar: You pushed Darryl out the window?
Phyllis: You shot Dwight?
Michael: No! That is not funny, I love my employees, even thought I hit one of you with my car. For which I take full responsibility. Look I'm just trying to take everybody's mind off of this unavoidable tragedy, and onto more positive things. So I thought we should plant a tree.
Jim: Oh good, so we don't have to work.