Popular Jim Halpert Quotes
Jim: Um, is it me or does it smell like updog in here?
Michael: What's updog?
Jim: Nothing much, what's up with you?
Michael: Dwight, what's your middle name?
Michael: Something with a 'K'.
Jim: It's Kurt. Wow, I'm so sad I know that.
Jim: I don't have a ton of contact with the Scranton branch, but before I left, I took a box of Dwight's stationery, so from time to time I send Dwight faxes. From himself. From the future: "Dwight, at 8am today, someone poisons the coffee. Do not drink the coffee. More instructions will follow. Cordially, Future Dwight."
Dwight: What's your daughter's name again? Pee Pee?
Jim: Pee Pa.
Not enough for me? You are everything.
Dwight: Ding dong.
Jim: Who is it?
Jim: Alright. I just got out of the shower, I'll be one second.
Dwight: [in accent] When you are done, open the door. ... Hello in there?
Jim: Yeah, I'm late for work, so I have to brush my teeth, it's a whole routine.
Dwight: We have more houses to visit.
Jim: If you want to come back then, that'll be fine.
Dwight: We will come back at... how is [looks at watch] 4:45?
Jim: I get back from work around 6.
Dwight: How about 5:15?
Jim: You can try. That, that might work.
Dwight: Very well, we will come back at 5:15.
Once a year Dwight holds a seminar for us on karate. Because one thing we know that thousand-year-old martial arts do each year is ... change.
Andy: Beer me!
Jim: What's that?
Andy: Hand me that water. I always say, "Beer me." Gets a laugh like a quarter of the time.
Jim: Lord, beer me strength.
Michael: Jim, Jim!
Jim: What is it?
Michael: That is vodka and I mixed it with orange juice. I call it an orange-vod-juice...ka.
Jim: Wow, that is delicious.
Jim: Can't believe no one's thought of that.
Michael: I know!
Michael: C'mon, hit me...
Jim: I can't. I just got a manicure.
Michael: Oh, queer! [looks at camera] ...eye. Queer eye! Good show, important show.
Dwight: Heyy! Jimmy, what's up?
Jim: Not much.
Dwight: Cool! Very cool. I bet if you tried, you could grow the best beard of anyone in this office!
Jim: Thanks Dwight.
Dwight: That laugh is so infectious!
Michael: Creepin' me out. I'm gonna go.
Dwight: I didn't mean any of those things I just said.
Jim: So what's your strategy for this race?
Pam: Well I'm gonna start fast.
Pam: Then I'm gonna run fast in the middle.
Pam: Then I'm gonna end fast.
Jim: Why won't more people do that?
Pam: Cause they're just stupid.