Jim: Um, is it me or does it smell like updog in here?
Michael: What's updog?
Jim: Nothing much, what's up with you?

Dwight: Jim, tell him wear he can stick his grapes.
Jim: In the fridge!

I wanna clamp Michael's face in a George Foreman grill.

Jim

CeCe if you're watching this at home, it's way past your bed time. By the way, how'd this get televised?

Oscar: Jim, did Michael fall into a koi pond?
Jim: Mmmmm... it's like Michael said, it was, um... something else.
Michael: It was ... okay, this is what it was. It was these bunch of idiots who put a fish tank in the ground with no cover, and no railing.
Angela: So you fell in.
Michael: No, maybe I was trying to save a child that had fallen in.
Angela: So a child had fallen in?
Michael: Not yet.

What the hell's a rundown?

My roommate wants to meet everybody. Because I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm making Dwight up. He is very real.

Jim

This is a fire cracker-free wedding.

Jim: How many buttons do you have?
Dwight: 40...always.

Michael: Who's seen Titanic?
Jim: I'm not really sure what movie you're talking about. Are you sure you've got the title right?
Pam: I think you're thinking of The Hunt for Red October.

Michael: Oh, my God, what happened?
Jim: We were robbed last night.
Dwight: Bravo, Watson. Looks like a classic seven-man job. Okay, security tapes were stolen, Motives - financial, or possible, vintage HP computer collectors. Hank down at security had clocked out. And that's all we have.

Not enough for me? You are everything.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 442 in total

The Office Quotes

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy

If onlys and justs were candies and nuts, then everyday would be un de donkfest!

Dwight
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