Popular Jim Halpert Quotes
Jim: Um, is it me or does it smell like updog in here?
Michael: What's updog?
Jim: Nothing much, what's up with you?
Michael: Dwight, what's your middle name?
Michael: Something with a 'K'.
Jim: It's Kurt. Wow, I'm so sad I know that.
Andy: Beer me!
Jim: What's that?
Andy: Hand me that water. I always say, "Beer me." Gets a laugh like a quarter of the time.
Jim: Lord, beer me strength.
Not enough for me? You are everything.
Oscar: So, Pam told me you do a great Stanley impression. I'd love to hear it.
Jim: Oh, um. "Why do you keep CCing me on things that have nothing to do with me?"
Stanley: Is that supposed to be me?
Jim: Oh, hey, Stanley. Uh, I was just doing an impression.
Stanley: I do not think that is funny.
Pam: He does everyone in the office.
Stanley: Hmph. [leaves]
Jim and Pam: "I do not think that is funny."
Michael: Jim, Jim!
Jim: What is it?
Michael: That is vodka and I mixed it with orange juice. I call it an orange-vod-juice...ka.
Jim: Wow, that is delicious.
Jim: Can't believe no one's thought of that.
Michael: I know!
Today is Thursday, but Dwight thinks that it's Friday. Aaaand, that's what I'll be working on this afternoon.Jim
Jim: You want to talk about it?
I wanna clamp Michael's face in a George Foreman grill.Jim
Pam: Wanna count her fingers and toes again?
Jim: No. Let her rest. I'm sure there are still 12 of each.
Dwight: Ding dong.
Jim: Who is it?
Jim: Alright. I just got out of the shower, I'll be one second.
Dwight: [in accent] When you are done, open the door. ... Hello in there?
Jim: Yeah, I'm late for work, so I have to brush my teeth, it's a whole routine.
Dwight: We have more houses to visit.
Jim: If you want to come back then, that'll be fine.
Dwight: We will come back at... how is [looks at watch] 4:45?
Jim: I get back from work around 6.
Dwight: How about 5:15?
Jim: You can try. That, that might work.
Dwight: Very well, we will come back at 5:15.
Michael: The one true rumor ... and this it going to ruin this person's life, is that-
Jim: Pam's pregnant!
Kevin: I knew it! At first, I thought, 'Oh, Pam's breasts are a little bit bigger. She must have gotten a new bra with padding. But then I thought, Pam doesn't NEED padding.' It just didn't add up, Jim.
Jim: Okay. Thanks.
Dwight: Who's the father?
Creed: Who's the OB-GYN?