Ken: How many accounts do I have?
Joan: Well, it's all of them.
Ken: It feels like more.

Pete: What would it take to make you a Queen?
Joan: I don't think you could afford it.

Joan: But no flowers from you.
Don: You scared the shit out of me.

Peggy: Someone dumped you?
Joan: Peggy, I'm just like everybody else.

Greg: The army makes me feel like a good man.
Joan: You're not a good man. You never were.

I know a girl who had your job who ended up with everything.

In a nutshell it all comes down to what I want versus what is expected of me.


Joan: Well I learned a long time ago to not get all my satisfaction form this job.
Peggy: That's bullshit!

I'm not a solution to your problems. I'm another problem.

Greg dying is not a solution to this.

No matter how powerful we get around here, they can still just draw a cartoon. So all you've done is prove to them that I'm a meaningless secretary, and you're another humorless bitch.

Joan: I really think this vending machine is a trouble maker.
Lane: I think it's been a great success. Revenue is climbing. I was gonna suggest we get a sandwich machine We'd probably get 40% of the work force keeping busy through lunch.
Joan: Or we'd end up with a bunch of fat secretaries who think the whole afternoon is lunch time because there's always another sandwich around the corner.

Mad Men Quotes

It's been a pleasure working with you all. I wish you the best of luck.


It's good not to be the reason this place went down anymore.