Favorite Kearney Zzyzwicz Quotes
Dolph: I'm going to kiss the ground.
Kearney: Loser, you're gay for the ground.
Dolph: Well, you're gay for homophobia.
Kearney: Wow, you just made me gay for tolerance.
Kearney: What's your name, sweat stain?
Bashir: Uh, Bashir?
Kearney: "Bash here?" I love a kid that comes with directions.
Lisa: Why does someone become a bully?
Kearney: I'm a Cubs fan.
Jimbo: Nice prank, Simpson. I dare you to dump that bees' nest on those second grade babies.
Bart: Why would I want to?
Jimbo: Because I said "I dare you." Kearney, can you read it back?
Kearney: (reading) "Nice prank, Simpson. I dare you to dump that bees' nest on those second-grade babies. Bart: Why would I want to? Jimbo: Because I said 'I dare you.' Kearney, can you read it back? Kearney, reading: Nice prank, Simpson. I dare you to--"
Jimbo: The point is, Simpson, a dare has been placed on your nards.
Bart: My nards accept.
This movie isn't silent! I can hear it sucking!
Here's your cabin. If you don't like it, T.S.
Jimbo: No matter how dead their relationship seems, all parents eventually commit the heinous acting of love.
Kearney: Mine do it once a year on the magical day when the prison and the insane asylum have their annual mixer.
Kearney: Yo, Simpson. Give us your lunch money!
Bart: Hmm... I don't think so. In fact, why don't you give me your lunch money?
Dolph: Who's gonna make us? That golem?
Bart: No, my gol--Yes, him.
Lisa: You punks are about to get a taste of your own medicine, this is my brother and he knows karate!
Jimbo: Oh, we're real scared!
Kearney: Please don't hurt us Bart!
Dolph: What are you gonna do? Throw your diapers at us? Haha!
Lisa: Yeah just keep laughing, you know it makes him madder! Come on Bart, start em off with the touch of death, and go from there!
Bart: I think they've learned their lesson already
Jimbo: No! We wanna see the touch of death!