Dolph: I'm going to kiss the ground.
Kearney: Loser, you're gay for the ground.
Dolph: Well, you're gay for homophobia.
Kearney: Wow, you just made me gay for tolerance.

Kearney: What's your name, sweat stain?
Bashir: Uh, Bashir?
Kearney: "Bash here?" I love a kid that comes with directions.

Lisa: Why does someone become a bully?
Jimbo: Neglect.
Dolph: Abuse.
Kearney: I'm a Cubs fan.

Jimbo: Nice prank, Simpson. I dare you to dump that bees' nest on those second grade babies.
Bart: Why would I want to?
Jimbo: Because I said "I dare you." Kearney, can you read it back?
Kearney: (reading) "Nice prank, Simpson. I dare you to dump that bees' nest on those second-grade babies. Bart: Why would I want to? Jimbo: Because I said 'I dare you.' Kearney, can you read it back? Kearney, reading: Nice prank, Simpson. I dare you to--"
Jimbo: The point is, Simpson, a dare has been placed on your nards.
Bart: My nards accept.

This movie isn't silent! I can hear it sucking!

Here's your cabin. If you don't like it, T.S.

Jimbo: No matter how dead their relationship seems, all parents eventually commit the heinous acting of love.
Kearney: Mine do it once a year on the magical day when the prison and the insane asylum have their annual mixer.

Kearney: Yo, Simpson. Give us your lunch money!
Bart: Hmm... I don't think so. In fact, why don't you give me your lunch money?
Dolph: Who's gonna make us? That golem?
Bart: No, my gol--Yes, him.

Lisa: You punks are about to get a taste of your own medicine, this is my brother and he knows karate!
Jimbo: Oh, we're real scared!
Kearney: Please don't hurt us Bart!
Dolph: What are you gonna do? Throw your diapers at us? Haha!
Lisa: Yeah just keep laughing, you know it makes him madder! Come on Bart, start em off with the touch of death, and go from there!
Bart: I think they've learned their lesson already
Jimbo: No! We wanna see the touch of death!

The Simpsons Quotes

Officer Eddie: (reading Steve Sax's license) Well well, Steve Sax, from New York City.
Officer Lou: I heard some guy got killed in New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that now, would you, Steve?
(Lou and Eddie laugh)
Steve Sax: But there are hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.
Officer Lou: You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you, Saxxy Boy?

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart