Favorite Kenny Powers Quotes
There's one image in my life that consistently makes me happy, no matter when I think about it, and that image, that one image is your big tits.
Kenny: You know how you think there's two kinds of lesbians: the really hot ones that are on Cinemax and get it on all the time, and then the really mean ones? Miss Carol is neither of those.
So, besides getting shot in the back of the head do you know what else Abraham Lincoln did? He was a champion wrestler in high school and no, I'm not making that up.
It seems to me an establishment such as this could go for an overhaul in the advertising spokesman game. I'm talking about a real celebrity, not some sign spinning f*cking monkey. I'm talking about goddamn me in the store, live, un-cut, in person, bringing in the customers, lubing the deals.
I'm trying so hard not to be an *sshole to you guys, Ok? I'm just disappointed with my own arm, and how its trying to buttf*ck me back here.
A stork wrapped around a tree branch. That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen before. You know that's how the plague started back in the day. It was from a little disgusting birdbath in someone's backyard that rats made sex to birds in it and created a whole new type of AIDS.
One time I was invited to come to a social gathering. I was paid a handsome amount of money, and I bought a shotgun and a bottle of Tanqueray and showed those people the best f*cking time they've ever seen.
The humongous part about being a celebrity is cashing in on it - making sh*tloads of money, having expensive, luxurious things. That way in case one day you're not famous you can still be rich as hell and better than everyone around you.
I'm the man who has the ball. I'm the man who can throw it faster than f**k. So that is why i am better than everyone in the world. Kiss my ass and suck my d**k... everyone.
(To Wayne)
I know deep within you there's a humongous set of testicles just waiting to drop down.
Kenny: I need you to score me some juice.
Clegg: What do you mean? Like from the store.
Kenny: No, you idiot. Steroids!
Kenny: Man, this feels good Clegg.
Clegg: Did you take one of those black beauties? The ecstasy?
Kenny: Nah dude. This is a real job. It's not like teachin' kids. Can't get fucked up.
