Lana: What sort of daily expenses does a semi-private investigator incur?
Archer: Bullets?
Lana: Daily.
Archer: Or, I don't know, maybe a surf and turf dinner at the Polo Lounge?
Lana: Uh-huh?
Archer: And then maybe a room upstairs at the Beverly Hills hotel?
Lana: Uh-huh.
Archer: And then, maybe...
Lana: I'm gonna leave you here. Between hope and despair.

• Permalink: Lana: I'm gonna leave you here. Between hope and despair.
• Rating: Unrated

I'm not paying 26 bucks for a bottle of frustration!

Archer

• Permalink: I'm not paying 26 bucks for a bottle of frustration!
• Rating: Unrated

Krieger: Plus tip.
Archer: How about the tip of my cock.
Kriger: In that scenario, would I take your penis in my hand, in my mouth...
Archer: Asshole. Wait - no, I mean, not - Goddammit!!

• Permalink: Asshole. Wait - no, I mean, not - Goddammit!!
• Rating: Unrated

Pam: Everything is my business.
Archer: Oh, including white slavery?
Pam: What?
Archer: Those girls are tied up, asshole.
Pam: No they're not, they're just...aww dog dicks.
Archer: Yeah, so...
Pam: Uhhh, wouldn't it be "yellow slavery?"
Archer: (gasps in disbelief) Uh, I don't know, racist!
Pam: White slavery is just as racist!
Archer: WHAT??
Pam: Nooo, you know, if you differentiate between cotton-picking slavery-
Archer: Jesus Christ!
Pam: -and then white slavery then that's-
Archer: SEXUAL slavery, then.
Pam: Okayyyy!
Archer: Goddammit.
Pam: My point is I think we're both anti-slavery.

• Permalink: Pam: Uhhh, wouldn't it be "yellow slavery?"
• Rating: Unrated

Archer: Whaaaaaat...
Pam: What?!
Archer:....the shiiiit?!?!
Pam: They knew me from work!

• Permalink: Pam: They knew me from work!
• Rating: Unrated

Archer: Lana! I mean, Ms. Kane.
Lana: Lana is fine.
Archer: I'll say.
Lana: You'll say what?
Archer: Uhhh, nothing?
Lana: Ahhh, a man of mystery.

• Permalink: Ahhh, a man of mystery.
• Rating: Unrated

Archer: How much of that did you hear?
Lana: Depends. What's your angle, Seamus?
Archer: (chuckles) Well, probably about 30 degrees.
[background rim shot]
Ray: (in background) Diminishing returns, Cliff!

• Permalink: Well, probably about 30 degrees.
• Rating: Unrated