The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSLeonard Hofstadter Quotes
Sheldon: Is the whip sound app contextually appropriate here?
Leonard: Uh, it is, but I think you might have waited too long for it to be funny.
[whip cracks]
Leonard: [Everyone laughs] I was wrong; it was still funny.
Hmm, if it's yogurt that helps ladies poop, I think Raj beat you to it.
Leonard: We're always the good guys. In D&D, we're lawful good. In City of Heroes, we're the heroes. In Grand Theft Auto, we pay the prostitutes promptly and never hit them with a bat.
Sheldon: Those women are prostitutes? You said they were raising money for stem cell research.
I'd make fun of Sheldon for having girl problems, if I wasn't shocked that Sheldon has girl problems.
Leonard: We'll miss you Sheldon.
Sheldon: Yeah, well, who wants to spend the whole weekend, running around a bunch of pretend planets, battling made up monsters? That's for babies.
Howard: Yeah, but it's got lightsabers.
Sheldon: Please, Amy! It's got lightsabers!
Leonard: It will be like our World of Warcraft party a few years ago when the neighbors called the cops on us.
Howard: They called the cops because of the smell. They thought we were dead.
Raj: We were badass back in the day.
Leonard: All right, let's do it.
Howard: 48 hours of Star Wars gaming.
Raj: It's on like Alderaan.
Raj: Hey, want to spend some time playing the new Star Wars game this weekend?
Leonard: Oh, I don't know. I kinda promised myself I'd get off the computer, be more physically active, get some exercise....?
Howard: You're about to walk up three flights of stairs.
Leonard: Good point. I'm in.
Penny: Why did you get bongos?
Sheldon: Richard Feynman played bongos, I thought I would give that a try
Leonard: Richard Feynman was a physicist
Penny: It's three o'clock in the morning, I don't care if Richard Feynman was a purple leprechaun that lived in my butt!
Penny: Ok, what just happened?
Leonard: I don't know. Between you playing chess like Bobby Fischer, and Sheldon being ok with you in his spot, I'm guessing someone went back in time and changed the course of human events.
Penny: I use to cut my brother's hair. I could do it for you
Sheldon: I know you mean well, offering the skills of the hill folk, but here in town we don't churn our own butter, we don't make dresses from gunny sacks, and sure-as-shootin don't get our hair cut by bottle blon..
Leonard: Sheldon be nice!
Leonard: It's going to be difficult to find something you are both equally good at.
Raj: Is there anything you are both equally bad at?
Sheldon and Kripke: Sports.
Penny: So you're saying if I became a famous movie star, we got married, you wouldn't sign a pre-nup?
Leonard: Absolutely not! If I'm gonna be stuck at home with the kids while you're on location cheating on me with Ryan Gosling ... then Leonard gots to get paid.
