Leonard Hofstadter Quotes
Leonard: [Sheldon] says he's moving out.
Raj: What did you do? Did you change the contrast or brightness settings on the television?
Raj: Did you take a Band-Aid off in front of him?
Wolowitz: Did you buy generic ketchup? Forget to rinse the sink? Talk to him through the bathroom door?
- Permalink: Says he's moving out. What did you do? Did you change the cont...
Penny [referring to Sheldon]: What's up with Ichabod?
Leonard: Oh, he's trying to make a new friend
Penny: Well good for him
Leonard: Unless he makes one out of wood like Geppetto, I don't think it's going to happen
- Permalink: What's up with Ichabod? Oh, he's trying to make a new friend ...
Penny: Yes, I will go out with you.
Penny: Yeah. Why not? I mean, what do I have to lose?
Leonard: Yeah. That's the spirit
- Permalink: Yes, I will go out with you. Really? Yeah. Why not? I mean, ...
Leonard: I don't think I can go out with [Penny] tonight.
Sheldon: Then don't.
Leonard: Other people would say, "Why not?"
Sheldon: Other people might be interested
- Permalink: I don't think I can go out with tonight. Then don't. Other ...
Leonard: Why are you learning Chinese?
Sheldon: I believe the Szechuan Palace has been passing off orange chicken as tangerine chicken, and I intend to confront them.
Leonard: If I were you, I'd be more concerned with what they're passing off as chicken
- Permalink: Why are you learning Chinese? I believe the Szechuan Palace ha...
Leonard: What happened?
Penny: Well, I went over to Mike's to make up with him.
Leonard: Yeah. No, I know that part.
Penny: But he had already moved on.
Leonard: Already? That was quick.
Penny [crying]: That's what I said to the woman who had her legs wrapped around his neck!
- Permalink: What happened? Well, I went over to Mike's to make up with him...
Penny: I swear to God, I am done with guys like that. You know, macho with the perfect body and hair, and money.
Leonard: Yeah, that must get old quick
- Permalink: I swear to God, I am done with guys like that. You know, macho w...
Leonard: Now that I'm actually about to go out with Penny, I'm not excited, I'm nauseous.
Sheldon: Then your meal choice is appropriate. Starch absorbs fluid which reduces the amount of vomit available for violent expulsion
- Permalink: Now that I'm actually about to go out with Penny, I'm not excite...
Penny: Maybe we should talk first.
Leonard: Okay, but before you say anything, have you ever heard of SchrÃ¶dinger's cat?
Penny: Actually, I've heard far too much about SchrÃ¶dinger's cat.
[Leonard kisses Penny]
Penny: Alright, the cat's alive. Let's go to dinner
- Permalink: Maybe we should talk first. Okay, but before you say anything,...
Leonard: I'm her friend, I'm not going to take advantage of her vulnerability.
Wolowitz: Wait, so you're saying that if in the depths of despair she throws herself at you and demands you take her right there, right now, you'll just walk away?
Leonard: I said I'm her friend, not her gay friend
- Permalink: I'm her friend, I'm not going to take advantage of her vulnerabi...
Leonard: I don't celebrate my birthday.
Penny: Shut up. Yeah, you do.
Leonard: It's no big deal. It's just the way I was raised. My parents focused on celebrating achievements and being expelled from a birth canal was not considered one of them
- Permalink: I don't celebrate my birthday. Shut up. Yeah, you do. It's n...
Leonard: How did you know my birthday's Saturday?
Penny: I did your horoscope, remember? I was going to do everybody's until Sheldon went on one of his typical psychotic rants.
Sheldon: For the record, that psychotic rant was a concise summation of the research of Bertram Forer, who, in 1948, proved conclusively through meticulously designed experiments that astrology is nothing but pseudoscientific hokum.
Penny: Blah, blah, a typical Taurus
- Permalink: How did you know my birthday's Saturday? I did your horoscope,...
Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.
Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.
- Permalink: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again? Yes, i...